A Life Less Ordinary
by Starway Man
Summary: Just what the title says, for Xander Harris and certain people he knows. [COMPLETE]
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** A Life Less Ordinary (1/5)

**Authors:** Starway Man and Nodakskip

**Email:** theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

**Disclaimer:** None of the Buffy or Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses. Anything taken directly from the TV episodes belongs to the writers in question.

**Warnings: **There is some violence, angst, character death and bad language in this one.

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Buffy/Angel crossover,Super AU

**Author Notes 1: **Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

**Author Notes 2: **This story is initially set in BtVS season 3, during an AU version of "Lovers Walk". It then progresses to roughly the time of "Enemies". There is a little C/W femslash at the start, but not too much and not for long.

**Summary: **What if the whole fluke thing had happened somewhat differently? An African god decides to play around with the life of Xander Harris.

* * *

**Spike's Abandoned Factory, Sunnydale, California**

**Wednesday November 25th, 1998**

**8:23 pm**

Cordelia Chase tried to sit up on the decrepit old bed, her head throbbing with pain. "Uhh, feels just like that time when I got knocked out at a Neiman-Marcus sale. So, what are our options?" the young woman asked.

Willow Rosenberg didn't look hopeful. "Well, I figure either...I refuse to do that stupid love spell of his and Spike kills us, or I do the spell and Spike kills us."

Cordelia stupidly tried to shake her head, and closed her eyes while trying to deal with these scenarios. "Any other option?"

"He's so drunk he forgets about us, and we starve to death," Willow said in defeat. "That's sort of the best one."

"Willow, we're not gonna die," Cordelia managed to get out. "If Spike's acting like such a drunken idiot he'll get careless at some point, and then we'll make our move." She moaned, "Well, as long as that doesn't involve standing up..."

Willow tried to gently clean the sticky blood coming out of her companion's head. The redhead leaned in a little too close, and the feelings they'd both had for the last six weeks or so resurfaced.

It was the strangest thing, really; Xander had been unable to make it to Willow's house back around Homecoming, and his girlfriend had shown up instead that night for what had been called the 'clothes fluke'. Willow just looked down when she understood what Cordy wanted, "We're not supposed to."

"Yeah, but the rules kinda go out the window during impending death situations," the cheerleader pointed out.

Willow was willing to go along with that, and so they kissed. Intensely. Cordelia reached her arm around the redhead as she lay back, and Willow put her arm around Cordy's shoulder to tenderly hold her close as they made out.

Unfortunately, that was the exact moment the rescue party came down the stairs.

"You've **got** to be shitting me!" Xander Harris exclaimed in disbelief, even as his traitorous body got turned on by the sight of two hot girls doing...that.

Willow immediately rolled off of Cordelia and looked in shock at the two males. "Oz!"

Cordelia reacted in very much the same way. "Oh, God. Xander-!"

"Huh," Daniel 'Oz' Osborne said, looking stunned for once in his life. "Not what I was expecting."

Xander in the meantime still looked shocked. "My girlfriend and my, my...best friend..." He suddenly looked angry and betrayed as he dropped the stake he was carrying onto the cement floor, and then turned and stormed out the way he'd come.

Cordelia forced herself up to go after him. "Xander, wait!"

"What the hell for?" the young man shouted over his shoulder. Then he mumbled to himself, "No wonder sh-"

Xander didn't look back as he headed up the steps, and in his emotionally turbulent state he didn't hear the creaking of the wood till it was too late. The fifth step before the top gave way under his feet mid-mutter. The others yelled his name as he fell down into the newly-created hole.

Cordelia ignored her own pain as she climbed the stairs and looked down into the hole. What she saw was horrifying. "Xander!"

Her boyfriend was lying on his back, unmoving, with a piece of rusted rebar sticking out of his lower torso.

"Well, this just...sucks," Xander rasped out, before he slipped into blackness.

* * *

**Sunnydale Memorial Hospital, Sunnydale**

**The next afternoon**

"What the hell do you mean, I'm not on the list!?" Cordelia demanded of the nurse. A large bandage was now covering a lot of her left forehead.

"Exactly what I said," the older woman told her. "Mr. Harris has made it **quite** clear that he doesn't want to see you."

"But I'm his girlfriend!" Cordelia said, very upset, as she tried to force her way past, only to be stopped by a security guard.

"Please. We don't need to make a scene here, Miss Chase," the balding guard told her as he pulled her back.

"Let go of me, you rent-a-cop!" the fashion princess screamed. "Or I'll have my father get you fired!"

Willow tried to keep the peace. "It's okay, Cordy, I'll go talk to him and-"

"And you would be?" the nurse asked as she held her clipboard.

"Willow Rosenberg," the female teen said right away.

"I'm sorry, but you're not on the list either."

"What!?" Willow demanded. "But...I'm Willow! I'm his best friend!"

"Not according to what Mr. Harris was saying earlier." The nurse just shook her head and turned away.

* * *

**Street outside Crestview Cemetery, Sunnydale**

**Three days later**

Willow looked worried. "So, Xander's gonna be released soon?"

Her best friend nodded. "That's the rumor at the hospital lately. I mean he lost a lot of blood but none of his vitals were punctured, so they're gonna let him go home." Buffy hesitated for a moment. "You said you spoke to him, right?"

The Jewish girl looked down. "If you count him yelling at me to get the hell out of his room before he called security? Yeah..."

"I didn't want to upset him by asking but, um, has Cordy talked to Xander yet?" Buffy asked somewhat more cautiously.

"She snuck in yesterday as well," Willow replied, still downcast. "That...it didn't go too well either."

"Yelling?" the Slayer asked a bit fearfully.

"Oh, yeah!" Willow told her. "I tried to hold back that nasty old head nurse. But, um, I did hear Xander's mom calling her a slut more than once."

"Damn," Buffy whispered. It was like their little gang was now disintegrating all around her. "And Oz?"

Willow almost cried as she said, "I never knew there was anything inside me that could feel this bad. For the longest time, I didn't know what I wanted. I, I wanted everything, even something I once thought I could never want! And now...I just...I just want him to talk to me again."

"You gotta give him some time," Buffy told her best friend. "And be prepared for some major groveling."

"Oh, I'm ready. To get Oz back, I'm all **over** groveling," Willow said quickly.

* * *

**Xander's hospital room, Sunnydale**

**Later that night**

"How you doing, Harris?"

Xander looked away from the TV in surprise. "Faith? What are you doing here?"

"Just got done with patrol," the brunette Chosen One replied. "Thought I'd come see how you were doing."

Xander just looked at her for a moment. "I really don't have to answer that, do I?"

"Guess not," Faith said with a shrug as she came closer. "To be brutally honest, I always figured you'd be the cheater-"

"ME?!" Xander yelled.

"You're a guy, ain'tcha? Stands to reason." Faith shrugged again.

"Maybe. But I'm not **that** kind of guy." Xander continued sarcastically, "And hey, the situation? The low-class guy lands the rich, perfect high-class girl...so he must be the villain of the story?"

"If this was a Lifetime made for TV movie," Faith agreed. "Go figure. The boyfriends always go nuts or cheat." She sat at the edge of the bed. "I hear you're back at school soon?"

"Yeah, tomorrow in fact. And can you just see my huge excitement about that?" Xander asked with heavy sarcasm. "Lemme ask you something, Faith. What exactly am I supposed to do? Just go back into that library and act like everything's fine? That I didn't almost die, and that my two special girls aren't a couple of dykes who screwed me over?"

"I know what you mean. But hey, you have to have more friends than just those two losers," Faith said.

"Apart from you, Giles and Buffy? Sadly, not so much," Xander admitted. "That's my situation in a nutshell. I mean, I know people. And I'm used to how everyone on campus treats me. But school will not be fun tomorrow, y'know? The looks, the...oh, the hell with it. The Willow I knew is dead and gone, and Cordy and I probably wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway."

* * *

**The temple of the Oracles, Los Angeles, California**

**The same time**

"This is not at all how it should be," the male Oracle said in great consternation.

"The plans of the Powers are now in jeopardy," the female Oracle agreed.

"The Powers? Please! Don't you mean that outcast who will one day call itself 'Jasmine'?" a new voice rang out behind them.

The brother and sister whirled around and beheld a strange sight. In front of them, wearing a tribal mask, was a male figure they recognized as the West African entity known as Eshu. He was capricious being, said to serve as a messenger between the gods and human beings, the god of travellers and roadways, and he was not someone they were pleased to see.

The female shouted, "How dare you enter this sacred space!"

Eshu appeared nonchalant. "Well, since I am sacred, at least to some, why not?"

The male Oracle glowered. "You actually have the nerve to...who do you think you are?"

The divine messenger cocked his masked head to one side. "I know perfectly well who I am. Who do you think **you** are?"

The woman said snootily, "We are that which does not appreciate being talked to by someone like yourself!"

Her brother added, "Someone who knows no better than to come here on a whim-"

"A whim?" Eshu interrupted, a sarcastic smile somehow visible through the mask, which also hinted at tones of darkness. "I am here on anything but. Listen carefully, as I came here to inform you two idiots of certain facts. First, know that you are both being manipulated like puppets and will die by the hand of the demon Vocah soon enough. Secondly, you will not attempt to alter the sequence of events I have now set into motion on the Hellmouth. My favorite mortal from six years into the future...will have his dying wish granted."

The Oracles just looked at one another as Eshu vanished in a short burst of light. Even though they were the agents of the Powers That Be, this duo was neither omniscient nor omnipotent, despite the image they liked to put forward to the general public.

They were able to sense events, whether in the past, present or future. They could even manipulate time to a certain extent, as Eshu had hinted, with their ability to create temporal folds. Thus the Oracles used their powers and learned that the trickster god had been responsible for Willow and Cordelia entering 'more than friends' territory.

They also learned that Eshu hadn't lied: the brother and sister foresaw their own murder as Vocah killed them with his scythe. They perceived how this had been permitted to happen by 'Jasmine' as part of its long-term plans to assume physical form in the mortal plane.

The lights in the temple went out; the Oracles were never seen or heard from again.

* * *

**Sunnydale High, Sunnydale**

**Monday November 30th, 1998**

**8:43 am**

Xander slowly got out of Oz's van, as the short black-haired musician quickly came around from the driver's side. "You okay, man?"

"Peachy with a side of keen," Harris grunted, as they made their way from the parking lot towards the campus. "And hey, Oz? Thanks for the lift."

"Least I could do. I can't believe they kicked you out of that hospital so soon," Daniel shook his head.

"What can I say? My parents' insurance couldn't cover an extended stay," Xander hissed suddenly, holding his side as the two boys walked along.

"Stitches still holding?" Oz asked in his stoic but caring way.

"Yeah. I'll live," Xander grunted again. "How you holding up after...everything, last week?"

Oz frowned as they headed towards the front of the building. Eventually he said, "Not sure. But I actually lasted without thinking about Willow for around two minutes there. New record for me."

Xander snorted with laughter, then winced in agony at once. "You know the old saying, Oz. So please, don't make me laugh..."

By this time they had reached the interior of the school and the two teens parted company. The werewolf went to his locker where an anxiously waiting Willow tried to talk to him. But Oz blew her off, saying that he needed some alone time and it wasn't his problem if she wanted to talk in order to feel better about herself and the things she'd done.

Xander's morning adventure wasn't so uneventful. As he headed for his own locker he saw Cordelia headed towards him. She was looking damned hot in her brown leather skirt and jacket with matching top, and alligator high-heel d'Orsay pumps with a matching bag from Prada. ( _Well, well, well. It looks like Queen C has definitely decided to pull out all the stops today-_ ) Before Xander could complete that thought, he was violently turned around by one of the second-string meatheads from the football team named John Lee Walker, and shoved against the wall.

"So you've actually come back, huh? I can't believe they let a cheater like you back into the same school as Cordelia Chase!"

The stitches were threatening to break open, and Xander was in a world of pain. But finally he managed to get past it and wheezed in confusion, "What-?"

"Come on, Harris, there's no point you trying to deny it. Everybody knows you got caught cheating on her, and that's why Cordelia dumped you last week. I oughta kick your ass right here and now!"

Xander honestly wasn't sure if he was hearing things correctly. ( _Unbelievable! She cheats on me, plus I end up with a rebar through my stomach. And yet, somehow, I end up the bad guy here? That's it, I've had enough! I don't care anymore how much the Hellmouth has it in for me, I'm **done** being Sunnydale's butt monkey!_ ) he thought to himself in angry disbelief.

"There a problem here?" a throaty female voice interjected.

Both Xander and John Lee turned around to face Faith the Vampire Slayer, one in surprise, the other in annoyance. "Beat it will ya sweetheart. This don't concern you," the jock demanded.

Xander nodded weakly. "It'll be all right, Faith. I'll, uh, I'll see you in the library later. Okay?"

Ms. LeHane smirked, knowing that was purely and simply idiotic male ego speaking. Luckily, she was a hot chick with superpowers and so didn't have to listen to that sort of crap. "You want me to get rid of this jerk? Just gimme a hint, and he's gone..."

"Hey!" John Lee finally let Xander go to get into Faith's face. "I told you nicely to get lost-"

His voice was cut off as Faith wrapped a hand around his throat and effortlessly lifted the football player off the ground. "Now, I'm thinkin' that what we've got here? It's a failure to communicate," the young woman purred.

John Lee looked down in disbelief at the brunette bombshell manhandling him like a rag doll. Then he noticed the crowd watching them, including Cordelia and her entourage. The male teenager's pride and reputation took a savage blow, one that he knew they would never recover from before the end of senior year.

( _Damn it! The other guys on the team are never gonna let me live this down!_ ) "Btsh..." he gurgled, unable to form the word properly.

Faith understood him though, perfectly well. Sending the jock a grin full of toothy humor, the Slayer casually tossed him away and linked arms with Xander, walking him down the corridor.

Harmony turned to the other Cordettes at once. "Oh my God, who would have believed it!? Harris went from Cordelia to that...that skank?"

"Well, he was always low-class scum. You finally came to your senses, right Cordy?" asked a girl named Gwen.

"Right," Cordelia said hesitantly. ( _Darn it, I was hoping to get a chance to explain all this to Xander in private...I mean, nothing personal, but please. I **do** have a reputation to maintain!_ ) "Come on, let's get out of here. Coach Carson wanted us to work on our cheerleading pyramid today, remember?" With that the gaggle of gossiping schoolgirls walked off down the hall.

Later, when Cordy confronted Faith in private about that little scene, all the brunette Chosen One said was, "Hey, not my fault you threw away a good piece of ass just because you tried out for the other team. Still, honestly? Red seems a little...vanilla...for my liking. Now if you want a taste of some real booty, C – my door's always open."

Ears burning, Ms. Chase stalked away. When she learned that Willow had been trying to beg Oz to forgive her and take her back, and it was clearly and definitely over between them, Cordelia began to realize what a complete mess she'd gotten herself into.

Xander glared at her the moment she showed her face in the library. Buffy was disapproving, Giles was indifferent, and the other two weren't even acknowledging her existence anymore. As for Angel...oh, hell, who really cared what he thought? Hottie hunk or not, he was just a mopey vampire, and one that could go evil at any moment at that.

The cheerleader suddenly understood how one thoughtless, careless moment had destroyed all the real and meaningful friendships she'd forged over the last year or so. All she had left now were the airheaded sheep – who pretended to hang on her every word, but in fact liked her only for her money and social position.

( _How do I get myself into these things?_ ) Cordelia thought miserably. ( _More importantly, how do I fix this?_ )

* * *

**The Bronze, Sunnydale**

**Monday February 1st, 1999**

**7:15 pm**

After one last desperate attempt during Christmas, Willow had finally given up trying to get back together with her ex-boyfriend. The chasm between them had been bridged, granted, but after a long talk with Oz she had decided that deep down he wasn't what she was really looking for in a significant other.

Otherwise, why the heck would Willow have been making out with another girl behind his back...and one who'd been her bitter enemy for practically all their lives?

Cordelia's life hadn't been flowers and candy, either. Despite all her attempts to stifle it, the gossip that she had been cheating on Xander instead of the other way around had circulated throughout the school. Oz had mentioned to his friends that Xander had been with him during that night in question, and she had no way to refute that. After hearing of Oz's side of the story, and seeing the obvious injuries Harris had suffered, even the most dim-witted student on campus could smell something fishy. Irreparable damage had thus been done to her position as the head of the elite. But still, curiously enough, no one paid any attention to the wild and unbelievable rumor that Cordelia had been caught making out with another girl.

Be that as it may Xander and Faith had been hanging out a lot lately. Unfortunately, Buffy had gotten a little annoyed with Xander when she hadn't been able to get him and Willow to make up. Eventually Harris had decided he just didn't want to deal with Buffy's annoying 'me Slayer, do as I say' attitude anymore. And since Oz had grown more and more distant from the Scooby gang as time went on, who else was there to hang with?

Giles? Deadboy? Nosiree, thank you very much.

That was why tonight, the night when the Hellmouth was scheduled to open thanks to the Sisterhood of Jhe, Faith and Xander, two teenagers with backgrounds more similar than they knew, were at the Bronze. They sat at a table sipping their drinks, listening to the music, and observing the crowd. The band was loud, the way it always was, and Harris had to speak up in order to be heard.

"Look at 'em all, Slay-gal. They're just hanging out here, same as always, completely clueless about the real world all around them. The other day, y'know, I was trying to remember what it was like to be one of these ignorant schlubs you see all around you. And I swear, Faith, I got the shock of my life when I realized the closest I could get was when I staked Jesse," Xander pointed to a section of the nightclub, "right over there."

Faith just stared at her companion and was about to reply when Angel came over. "Faith, Xander. I'm looking for Buffy, have either of you seen her?" he asked.

Xander shrugged. "Library, last I saw."

Angel looked worried, "Something's happening. Very soon, if not right now. I've seen portents."

"What kind?" Faith demanded.

"Apocalyptic ones." The vampire turned to Harris. "If you see her, tell Buffy I'm looking for her. Otherwise, it's probably best if you stay out of harm's way for tonight."

Xander looked insulted as Angel turned and left. "Sure thing, Bossy the cow!" he muttered.

Faith grinned. "He's wearing enough leather to qualify, ya think?"

Harris ignored that and stood up. "What the hell, want a lift to the library? I'm sure Giles will have another life-or-death donut run he'll need me for by now."

Faith smirked again. "Hey, why not?"

The two teenagers went outside, and as Xander started his uncle's car his foot slipped off the clutch. The '57 Chevy Bel Air lurched forward and crashed into the car right in front, resulting in some slight bumper damage and a broken taillight on the other vehicle.

"Oh, God! Okay, okay, let's stay calm, it was just a little fender bender..." Xander started to babble. Unfortunately, the school psycho known as Jack O'Toole got out of the other car. "Oh, crap!" Harris gulped in fear as soon as he saw him.

Faith decided to deal with this herself as she started to get out of the Harris-mobile. Once out of the car she said to the new arrival, "You okay?"

Jack didn't appear to notice her. "Come on, Harris, step up and take it like a man. It's time for me to kick your ass into a brand-new shape!"

Xander got out of the car as well. "Uh, Jack, look, I can cover the damages. I don't have insurance in the strictest sense of the word, of course, but I do have a little money. The important thing is that we're all okay and we can work this out like, like reasonable..." Jack pulled out a very long hunting knife and held it up, "...frontiersmen?"

Faith didn't even have to think about it. A Slayer-strength kick sent the knife named 'Katie' sailing away, and then she and O'Toole instantly went at it.

Xander just gaped as the vicious fight broke out. "What are you?" Faith demanded in between punches. "'Cause I already know you ain't human!"

Jack looked surprised before he wordlessly raised his shirt for a moment and both Xander and Faith could see a number of bullet holes across his gut. "Drive-by three weeks ago," O'Toole said simply.

"Oh man, zombies again? Hey, didn't we already do this at Buffy's welcome-home party last year?" Xander turned his head skywards and asked this of someone up above.

Faith and Jack ignored him and quickly got back to fighting. Xander was just about to jump in himself when all of a sudden a flashlight shone into Jack's face the moment before he was going to punch Faith in the jaw.

"Hey! What's going on here?" the patrol cop demanded. Then the officer recognized Jack. "O'Toole? Well, now..." He withdrew his gun, and pointed it at the zombie. "Guess this is my lucky night, huh? Assume the position, I finally got you on an assault and battery rap..."

The policeman, still pointing his sidearm at the zombie, came forward whilst withdrawing his handcuffs. Jack didn't move, though. Faith looked briefly uncertain about what to do. Officially, this was her jurisdiction, but how to explain that to a meddling flatfoot?

"Uh, officer? I think there's a couple of gang members high on PCP coming this way," Xander's voice briefly distracted both the Slayer and the beat cop.

Jack took advantage of this fact to try to run for it. But the policeman aimed his gun and shouted, "O'Toole! Stop or I'll shoot!" Jack kept going as the cop opened fire, chasing after the reanimated punk.

Faith again looked unsure. "What do you think, we go after them?"

Xander nodded, "Better safe than sorry." Then he spied something that had fallen on the ground during Jack and Faith's little tussle. Harris picked it up and examined it. "Huh, a chicken's foot. Souvenir!"

* * *

**Main Street, Sunnydale**

**Wednesday March 31st, 1999**

**6:24 pm**

Things hadn't improved much in the last two months on just about any front you'd care to mention.

Xander never lost his virginity to Faith that night. After the apocalypse and Jack O'Toole had been taken care of, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce had shown up and the new Watcher had been instantly smitten with Cordelia. The girl had been mildly attracted to him too, despite her newly-acknowledged attraction to women, and started flirting with him whenever Xander was around. She'd become utterly pissed though when Xander hadn't reacted. He was beyond caring about Cordelia and her little games; he didn't talk to her at all anymore. He barely spoke to Willow, Buffy or Giles either.

But Xander had gotten more and more worried about Faith. Ever since that idiot Allan Finch had shown up in the middle of a vamp combat zone and Faith accidentally staked him, he had sensed the brunette Slayer slipping further and further away, becoming more solitary than ever. They never talked anymore like they used to. And the less said about a disastrous attempt at an intervention Xander had made, the better.

Curious about her activities, last night Harris had tailed Faith to an uptown residential building instead of the bug-infested motel he had thought she was staying at. It had been pretty obvious she was now living there...and that she might have met privately with the Mayor, because he'd spied Wilkins leaving the building not long afterwards.

Xander wasn't sure yet what to do with this information. He knew he had to do **something**, but what? Narc on Faith to the others? Sure, like he knew **that** was going to help in any way.

As he walked along during that warm spring night, pondering what to do about Faith, the young man saw her and Angel marching down the street with matching grim expressions. Xander said suspiciously, "Hey, guys! Where have you been? Faith, I've been looking all over for you-"

Angel casually punched him in the jaw without even breaking stride.

Now, whatever else he was, Xander wasn't a vampire or a Slayer. He simply didn't have their supernatural strength or speed, and so Harris fell limply to the ground, out cold. Faith didn't even look at him.

"That guy really bugs me," Angel muttered, as they left Xander behind in their dust.

Had either of them looked back towards the unconscious youth they might have noticed the blood starting to leak out of his split lip. Some dribbled down his chin and, as fate would have it, came into contact with the chicken foot 'souvenir' Xander had been wearing around his neck as a good luck charm lately.

A red and white glow seemed to surround Xander's body for a moment when the talisman activated itself. As the psychopomp conduit did its job, Harris continued to lay there, sprawled out on the street, unconscious.

Unmoving.

Changed.

* * *

**Not far from the Master's underground cavern, Sunnydale**

**April, 1999**

As Xander wired together the bomb detonator, he briefly marveled at how different things were now.

After Angel had hit him on the street that night, in his mind young Mr. Harris had awoken to find himself in a dark room of some sort. Not only that, he'd suddenly found himself face-to-face with an older version of himself, wearing an eyepatch.

In response to Xander's demands to know where they were and what was going on, the one-eyed guy had said something about being everywhere and nowhere and that this was the first step on his journey along the Great Path or some such nonsense. The male teenager had quickly realized that despite appearances the other dude present was not his future self.

No way. There were just far too many...inconsistencies.

For crying out loud, the so-called Future Xander hadn't even seemed to care about totally violating the Temporal Prime Directive! When Xander had called him on it, the fake Harris had morphed into a much taller and thinner African male, wearing some sort of tribal mask.

Eshu, for it was he, had then burst out laughing. "Harris, even at this age, you truly are just like I remember you from five years into the future! I hate to admit it, but I've actually missed you."

Xander had then heard the whole fantastic tale from one of the deities of the Yoruba people in southwest Nigeria and the descendants of former slaves in Cuba and Brazil. He had heard how, as a Watcher in the new Council, his future self had encountered the wandering entity in Africa. Eshu had explained that Xander had provided him with over a year's worth of amusement just by being himself and the situations he'd constantly gotten into on the Dark Continent during his travels.

"But then you died in Senegal, barely 23 years old. I thought to myself, what a waste! Such talent gone, such potential lost. That is why I decided to come back and change things."

"What do you mean?" Xander had asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Behold my first lesson to you, Harris!" Eshu had declared. Before putting a hand to the human's head, and giving him the edited highlights of life up till 2005 in a series of visions. Xander had reeled back and screamed in horrified terror, refusing to believe what he'd just seen. But that had only made the African god of divinations laugh all the more. "Farewell, Harris. And I strongly suggest you be very careful in the choices you make from now on."

At that point Xander had woken up on the sidewalk. He'd noticed the chicken foot talisman had burned itself out into a crisp. Upon deciding it hadn't all been a bad dream, Harris had decided to get pro-active.

Refusing to join the others at the library and hear Buffy's lame excuse that Angel hitting him had all been just an act, Xander had broken into the local army base and obtained some Claymore mines. He'd also broken into Decker Hardware to get some steel boxes and a few other assorted odds and ends. The teenager was a man with a plan. He'd kept a low profile and stayed away from the rest of the gang as he waited for the perfect opportunity to execute it.

When it came he'd ambushed the Mayor after the man left Faith's apartment by knocking him out with a tranq rifle. Feeling totally sickened Xander had nonetheless dismembered the politician, separating the body parts into the various boxes. He had then brought the containers here to the one underground cave he knew was shunned by the fang faces. This place where the late, unlamented Master had lived was considered forbidden territory for other vampires.

"You know, Dick," Xander said to himself, as he knew the Mayor couldn't hear him in his current state. "I have only two things to say. One, I'm eventually going to settle accounts with Overbite for almost breaking my face in half that night on the street. And two, don't you think it's ironic that Deadboy's solution to Dr. Ronald Meltzer was the inspiration for my little plan for you?"

"The thing is, Dick," Xander went on, "I know you can't be killed till Graduation Day. Granted, once you became a huge-ass snake demon, I could take you out with the original plan we came up with. But funny how I don't want all those people getting killed as collateral damage up until then. So here's hoping whatever mojo you're using to keep yourself alive will run out of juice when the big moment comes, and you won't be a problem anymore."

Xander finally finished wiring the detonator together. Then he used the Claymores to bring the house down. He would have preferred dynamite or C4, but he'd had to make do with what he could get and luckily they got the job done.

His pseudo-soldier memory bank had told Harris that the distance he'd chosen where to detonate the mines was far enough away to be safe. What it hadn't told him was that it definitely wasn't far enough away to be clean. Xander coughed and spluttered, his clothes soiled and dirty as he made his way to the sewers and then up into Sunnydale's streets.

And who should he encounter but the one and only Cordelia Chase, whose car screeched to a halt as soon as she recognized him. "Xander? What the hell happened to you?" she demanded at seeing the male teen.

He hesitated before answering, "Nothing important. I was just, uh...there was a bit of a cave-in where I was just now." Harris stared at her, ignoring Cordelia's confusion at his polite manner. Even though she had cheated on him when they'd been together, he had to do it thanks to a few of Eshu's visions. "Um, Cordelia? What are your plans for after graduation?"

Miss Chase was surprised by the question, as well as the continuing lack of her ex's usual hostile attitude. "Well...why do you ask?"

Xander knew nothing about the Chase family's IRS problems, or that Cordelia's parents were soon going to abandon her forever. But he **had** seen what had happened to the cheerleader by 2004. "Look, if you're planning to go to LA to become a movie star? Trust me on this...don't. Apply for a student loan or whatever if you don't want to be dependent on your father's money, and go to college either here or someplace else. I mean, I'm sure you of all people don't want to live in a city that's full of demons," Xander told her firmly.

"How do you know Los Angeles is full of demons?" Cordy asked, more stunned than ever over how Xander had known she wanted to become an actress.

"Oh, it's just something I heard on the street recently," Xander prevaricated. ( _And so what if that's not the whole truth? She doesn't need to know about Doyle, or inheriting his visions, or ending up dead in five years. This time around, assuming the info's legit – all that's gonna be a helluva lot different!_ ) He quickly walked away before she could ask anything else.

And somewhere up above, Eshu laughed again in delight as his mortal cat's paw screwed with Jasmine's plans but good. The outcast Power screamed in rage and swore to destroy the damned troublemaker at the first opportunity.

Well, as Eshu was supposed to have said at the end of the fable, "bringing strife is my greatest joy".

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** A Life Less Ordinary (2/5)

**Authors:** Starway Man and Nodakskip

**Email:** theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

**Disclaimer:** None of the Buffy and Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses.

**Warnings: **There is some violence and angst in this story.

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Super AU

**Author Notes 1: **Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

**Author Notes 2: **This story is initially set in BtVS season 3, during an AU version of "The Prom". It then progresses to roughly not long after "Graduation Day, Part 2".

**Author Notes 3: **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, or sent feedback via email. Please, keep it coming! We're junkies about that sort of thing, the more reviews we get the more we want.

**Summary: **Plans are made. Fallout is present. And an African god continues to play around with the life of Xander Harris.

* * *

**Weatherly Park, Sunnydale, California**

**Sunday May 9th, 1999**

**12:23 pm**

Xander Harris was laying flat on his back on one of the picnic tables that dotted the park's classier areas. Anyone who happened to take note of him in the afternoon sunshine would almost certainly assume the teen was just gazing up at the sky.

They would be very wrong, however, for Xander was in deep thought about the visions of his one-time future, given to him a month ago.

That night, after he'd taken care of Wilkins and talked to Cordelia, he'd gone home, taken a shower, climbed into bed and fallen asleep. He'd been too weary to think about what to do next with regard to upcoming events. Later, Xander had tried to find Faith, but he'd failed to succeed in that. She was neither at her new apartment or her old hotel room.

The combination of her boss disappearing into thin air and the Scoobies knowing she'd become a spy for the Mayor had most likely been enough to make Faith decide to hop a freight train out of town. Or at least that was what Xander suspected had happened, if one of the visions was any reflection of current events.

And while it hurt to have lost a friend that way, he knew the alternative might have been a whole lot worse. That episode of Buffy stabbing Faith in the stomach as part of her plan to save Angel's life was especially troubling to the male teen, both because Miss Summers would have killed a human to save a vampire, and how far Miss LeHane had fallen into the darkness.

By this time Harris wasn't sure just how much of what he'd foreseen was real or not. He hadn't mentioned details to anyone of what the trickster god had chosen to reveal to him. That road almost certainly led to somewhere in the realms of a KGB-style interrogation, not to mention a Watchers Council prison cell. A bit paranoid of him, perhaps, but better safe than sorry.

A long-time fan of the 'Terminator' movies, Xander had not only been tempted to carve "No Fate" onto the table he was laying on today, but he had also discovered that knowing the future was a double-edged sword. People are the sum of their memories and experiences, after all, and if he spent the next year or so taking care of every major villain Buffy would run up against then all the experience the Slayer would gain from those battles would never happen.

And that would not be of the good, in his opinion. Granted, he would save her a lot of grief by taking care of business before the advent of 2003. But all fighters have to grow, to learn the meaning of success from the lessons of adversity and defeat. The Buffy Summers of that future had, if nothing else, become the leader of her people; overcoming an incredible number of enemies, and eventually taking control of the Council itself.

On the other hand, if Xander let it all happen as it had been revealed to him...then Buffy would end up nothing but a mockery of the girl he'd met three years ago. She would become the control freak and – Xander shuddered even to admit it – the downright bitchy person he'd glimpsed in his visions of the future.

As much as he had mixed feelings for his blond friend, deep down Xander **knew** he couldn't let her end up like the woman who'd sent him to his death.

In the future that would have been, and possibly still would be, during late 2004 the demons had gotten up to their old tricks as usual and had wanted something that would end the world. An artifact that, in layman's terms, was a cosmic egg of destruction and couldn't be gotten rid of just by smashing it into little pieces.

The head of the Watchers Council, Buffy Summers, had sent him off on a secret mission to hide the item. And then...

And then, she'd done the unthinkable. The woman had let all the details of his mission be leaked to the enemy. Horrible as it was to contemplate, in the vision Buffy had regretfully sacrificed him so that her current lover, some schmuck calling himself The Immortal, could safely hide the real artifact elsewhere instead. And the way she'd explained it to everyone, after he'd ended up dead in Senegal, was almost the exact same way Buffy had rationalized Spike's continued presence within the Scooby gang during the first half of 2003: "The Immortal is a stronger and a better fighter."

Oddly, it had made no difference to Buffy that The Immortal had never even lifted a finger against any of the Council's enemies before then, despite all the opportunities he'd had to do so. She had made a command decision, and that was that.

Unfortunately though, the alpha Slayer hadn't anticipated the effect her decision would have on the troops. Her precipitous choice of action had caused the new Council to split apart at the seams. Faith, Kennedy, Willow, Giles, and even Dawn had left and taken most of the Slayers with them, no longer willing to trust Buffy with their lives. The precedent had been set and none of them could be sure if they would be next to suffer a similar fate for the cause.

Buffy had unsurprisingly taken that as an affront to her authority, and so within a year Slayer had begun fighting Slayer in a civil war.

Here and now Xander compared himself to the Archduke Ferdinand, whose assassination nearly 90 years ago had triggered World War One. ( _The more things change, the more they stay the same? Oh, man, what do I do?_ )

"I see you're still having trouble with my little gift to you."

Xander got up off the table and saw a black, male teenager he didn't know standing next to him. "What-? Who are you?"

"Come now, Harris. Search your feelings. I may not be your father, but you still know who I am," the teen said with a smirk, as he sat at the table.

It was the expression of amusement that convinced him. "Eshu," Xander said flatly. "You're back again? Only this time, I'm not out cold. What, you're here to show me some more details of the horrible upcoming future?" he asked sarcastically.

"Not this time," the god of mischief said with an ever-present smirk.

"Then what? Stock market tips?"

Eshu laughed out loud. "Clever. But no, I've just come from a meeting with some of the other gods. Well, when I say **some**, I mean everyone who was anyone was there: my pantheon, the Greek's, the Roman's, the Norse, even the Egyptian's. By changing your future, Harris, I've upset some and pleased others. It's just business as usual for someone like me."

"Other gods actually care about us mere mortals?" Xander asked, somewhat surprised.

"All gods need worshippers, Harris," Eshu replied. "Why else do you think the Catholic Church was so adamant about wiping out pagan religions for so long? Without worship, beings such as myself just wither away and die-"

"Right, and Lord knows we wouldn't want that," Xander commented snidely.

Eshu decided to let the insult pass in the interests of completing his current lesson for Xander to make the right choices in life. "Some compromises were decided upon. That little monster-hunting unit that shows up later this year is still going to happen. Although this time, when Adam escapes, the little boy he meets won't be killed."

Xander nodded, happy about that. "But the big fight scene with Adam's army? That's still going to happen on schedule?"

Eshu nodded. "Later on the Slayer's mother, Joyce Summers, won't have her brain trouble. Many of the others think that with her around, it will prevent the Slayer from going-"

"Nuts?"

Eshu shrugged. "If you say so."

"Good," Xander replied, very happy indeed that Joyce would not die. "So, what about Dawn?"

"Ah yes, the Key. Some thought it a pity that sexy little hellgod could not participate in our conference. Myself though, I'd say that it was all for the best. At any rate, the Slayer's sister won't be created in the same way she was in the original history you experienced."

"But she will be created, right?" Xander asked worriedly. He had liked what he had seen of the brunette teenage girl who had had as big a crush on him as Willow used to.

"Those people can't be allowed to just toss her into everyone's memories, Harris. Not like what would have happened in the world I let you glimpse," Eshu told him. "Chaos and strife are all well and good, of course, but there are limits. Even for me. Those monks were only human, and so they couldn't begin to comprehend the consequences of meddling with reality like that."

"But you do?" Xander asked him. "I mean, how is showing me the future any different?"

"Because," Eshu replied. "You are a known quantity, and I know what would have happened since I exist outside of your time and space, mostly. But shoving memories of the Key into everyone's brains would be like..." The god stopped, trying to find a good analogy. "Well, let's just say I'm surprised that someone's head didn't explode after what those monks did."

"Okay..." Xander said slowly, letting that one go for the moment. "So, assuming this is all on the level. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Your destiny is in your own hands," Eshu told him point-blank. "You were planning to leave this unholy place on your road trip to find your own path, as I recall. Use that time to become the man who entertained and amused me for all those months. After all, that **is** why I actually came back to this era in the first place, remember?"

"You're sayin' I should just leave town?" Xander demanded, doing his best to ignore that last bit. "And go where?"

"A lot farther than Oxnard, Harris. And make of that what you will," the possessed teen told him. "Because your destiny is now an unwritten page in history." Eshu stood back up and looked past Xander. "And so is someone else's."

"Someone else?" Xander asked, just as the messenger god vacated his host, leaving behind a frantic un-possessed black teenager to look around in confusion. Harris cursed to himself, "Damn it! Who?"

"Hey, Xander."

The young man turned back at the sound of the new female voice. "Amy!?" he cried out in disbelief at Eshu's latest machination.

* * *

**Outside of Sunnydale High School, Sunnydale**

**Tuesday May 11th, 1999**

**6:34 pm**

Buffy rolled off the ground and looked around for the last hellhound. "Damn it!" she swore, as she saw the beast go through an open door to the school. The Slayer raced as fast as she could to reach it before it killed anyone, running harder when a loud whine came from the building.

"Where's – Xander!?" the blond girl said in disbelief, as she saw the creature motionless at her friend's feet.

"It's dead," Xander told her simply, having been ready to kill the demon foot soldier all along.

"And I'll take care of the mess."

Buffy spun around at the female voice. "Amy? What...you're not a rat anymore? And you're in a Prom dress?"

Amy's eyes glazed over, turning completely white, as she spoke. "Return this hell beast to the depths from which it came!"

Buffy jumped back as a black portal of some kind opened up under the dead demon and sucked it down. When the carcass was gone, the portal closed up and vanished as if it were never there. "Wait a minute, you don't have that kind of power-" the Slayer started to say suspiciously.

"She does now," Xander said as he went over to Amy and offered her his arm. "Care to dance, Miss Madison?"

"I'd love to!" Amy said with a smile as the now-linked couple went into the gym, leaving a confused Slayer behind. Instead of dwelling on it, Buffy dashed off to where she had hidden her bag holding her own Prom outfit.

Inside the gymnasium, three teens were sitting at a decorated table. "I love your dress, Willow," Cordelia said, yet trying not to sound too flattering. The redhead had talked Oz into at least being her Prom date, and the young woman didn't want to scare him off by reminding him of the fluke from last year.

"It does look of the good," Oz said noncommittally as he took a sip of his punch. The werewolf was being polite, but he didn't want to encourage any thoughts his ex might have been harboring about having a chance with him again.

"Ah, where's your date Cordy?" Willow asked the brunette. Despite everything, she didn't want her old smooching partner to be a third wheel around here.

"I'm afraid I don't have one. Well, that is if you don't count my pity date, Wesley," Cordelia sighed. "God. It's my senior Prom, and I don't even have a significant other! But I guess that's all my own fault now, isn't it?"

"Both our faults," Willow told her simply. "We both should have known better...but we didn't."

After a long awkward pause, Oz broke the silence. "Think Xander will show?"

"With who?" Cordelia demanded. ( _He doesn't even have a girlfriend these days._ )

"Oh my God, look!" Willow said less than a second later. "He's with Amy!"

"Huh? Isn't she a rat?" Cordelia demanded, as she looked over and saw the couple in question dancing. In furious silence she watched as the dark-haired witch danced very closely with her ex.

( _Skank!_ ) the former queen of the elite thought venomously. Marching over to the chaperone table, a very jealous Cordelia Chase grabbed the junior Watcher. "Come on, we're dancing!"

"All r-r-right," Wesley spluttered out, as his mouth was full of cocktail wieners.

* * *

**Angel's mansion, Crawford Street, Sunnydale**

**Wednesday May 12th, 1999**

**8:59 am**

The vampire known as Angel was quite familiar with fear. As Angelus, he had inflicted it upon others many times over the centuries. Only during a few occasions had he ever felt fear himself, however. He still shuddered at the memories of his encounters with Holtz, the Master, and the demons that had tortured him for a century after Acathla had sucked him into Hell.

The person he was currently facing now though left them all behind in her dust.

Joyce Summers held up a notebook she had found. "I found this in the kitchen yesterday. Buffy, she's, she's...oh dear God, but she's daydreaming about marrying you one day!"

"She is?" Angel looked surprised. The mother of the girl he loved looked very upset and suddenly Angel guessed how she was making a beeline toward 'stay away from my daughter!' territory.

"It's not...Angel, I'm sorry, but I can't let Buffy go on like this," Joyce said firmly, right on cue.

"Like what?" Angel asked, even though he had already figured it out.

"Like thinking that you and her are some real-life version of Han Solo and Princess Leia!" Joyce declared. "Believe it or not, I **do** know what it's like to be young, to think you can handle anything so long as the man you love is by your side. But I've had a long talk with Mr. Giles, and he explained everything to me about your curse."

"I'm sure he did," Angel replied, looking away. And he was likewise sure the Watcher wouldn't have held back any of the more private details. Not that anyone could blame him though, after that night of torture at Angelus' hands.

"Most mothers go nuts worrying about how to keep their daughters from having premarital sex. But the only things they have to worry about are STDs, or-or pregnancy. But that's not the case with you now, is it? I've got to worry about letting a murdering monster rip my daughter apart, and then roam around loose on the streets."

"No. I'd never hurt Buffy like that again," Angel said very seriously.

"Well, that's nice of you to say. But Angel, I have to deal with my little girl being a Slayer and in constant danger, as well as growing up way too fast. So I refuse to live knowing her boyfriend could go evil at any moment, a boyfriend who has full access to our home at that!"

"We didn't know about the loophole in the curse then," Angel said patiently. "So that's not an issue anymore-"

"Well, what about if someone evil hires a witch or whatever, to remove your soul with black magic?" Joyce asked, bringing up something else Giles had told her about. "It's too great a risk!"

Angel suddenly got a funny look on his face, as if he'd just figured something out. "No offense, but how much of this is because Angelus told you that Buffy wasn't a virgin anymore?"

Mrs. Summers stiffened with repressed anger at those memories. "That has nothing to do with why I'm here today," she said icily.

"Sorry if I'm appearing disrespectful, but I don't think that's entirely accurate. Joyce, Buffy's 18 years old now," Angel replied in a reasonable voice. "A legal adult, able to make her own decisions. And it's her life, surely it's up to her if she wants to take the risk?"

"Did you wear a condom with her that night?" Joyce suddenly demanded.

"What? Uh...no..." Angel said, unsure why she had changed the topic this way.

"I see. Angel, I was also told all about your sire, that 'Darla' person," Joyce said, wincing over how feeble-minded she'd been then. To think she had actually believed she'd been stabbed with a barbecue fork, instead of being bitten by a vampire! "When she was turned, that woman was dying because of syphilis. Subsequently you, or at least your...dark side, had a sexual relationship with that woman for nearly two centuries. And that night, you had unprotected sex with my daughter?"

Angle looked stunned for a moment. He hadn't even considered that. "As far as I know, something like that can't be passed along after death-"

"Show me the medical study which says that, please," Joyce said with a stern voice. "And just so you know, Slayer healing or not – I'm making sure Buffy gets tested for any and all possible diseases! But the point is, at the time you two didn't even think about it. Just like the countless other people who don't and end up having to live with the consequences!"

"Joyce," Angel said slowly. "You're right. I should have made sure, but that night both Buffy and I had almost died before we, um, took comfort in one another. The circumstances were...pretty chaotic, not to mention unique. And as I said, I would never willingly hurt Buffy. I would die for her-"

"I hate to be blunt, but that's not what I've heard," Joyce told him bitterly. "Two years ago, apparently Xander had to **force** you to help save her from that so-called Master person?"

"Uh..." Angel said softly, looking away after briefly gazing at the angry mother. After all, that wasn't exactly his finest hour. Even if it was also two years ago, and his feelings for Buffy had intensified sufficiently for his "I would die for her" statement to be true **now**.

* * *

**1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale**

**Thursday May 13th, 1999**

**7:26 pm**

Joyce Summers was feeling rather concerned.

Her talk with Angel hadn't ended well. All her arguments that the ensouled vampire simply wasn't what her daughter needed in her life right now seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. Every point she'd raised, the undead creature had seemed able to easily refute.

Until Joyce had hit Angel with the ultimate ammunition. Buffy was the Vampire Slayer, and as such had a very limited lifespan. Therefore she should live her life in the daylight, savoring every moment to the fullest instead of hiding in the darkness with him, scavenging the few pitiful crumbs of affection he could safely give her.

All of a sudden, Joyce's hearing picked up the sound of a disturbance not far away and she headed in the direction of her daughter's bedroom. As she hesitated at the door, her ears detected the muted sounds of female sobbing. Not even bothering to knock, straightaway Joyce went inside and saw her only child crying her eyes out. "Buffy? What's wrong?"

The blond girl quickly threw herself into her mother's arms. "Angel...he, he broke up with me today!" she stuttered in between the sniffles and tears.

Joyce felt horrible at what her baby was going through. "Oh, honey," was all she said, holding Buffy tightly. Then her mother walked the Chosen One to the bed, and helped clean up her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I...Mom, I don't understand why," Buffy choked out, the tears instantly threatening to overwhelm her again. "I love him, and he loves me. I know he does! But all of a sudden, out of the blue he comes up with these excuses why we shouldn't be together anymore? And then he tells me that he's leaving town! I mean, was it me? Did, did I do something to cause this?"

"No, honey, I'm sure that's not it," Joyce said carefully, truly regretting how much agonized pain her daughter was obviously in. But in her mind, all this couldn't have played out any other way. Mrs. Summers didn't regret her talk with the ensouled vampire yesterday one iota as convincing Angel to exit the scene was something that Had To Be Done. Buffy's heart would eventually heal and she would find someone else, in her mother's opinion.

"Then what is it? Why would he do this? Why, Mom? Where did we go wrong? It **had** to have been me. I, I guess I simply didn't measure up against all the women he must have met over the centuries...deep down, I was just some silly schoolgirl who didn't amount to much in his eyes-"

"Buffy!" Joyce sounded scandalized at how her daughter was putting herself down like that. "Don't say that! Sweetie, this wasn't your fault. Look – sometimes, these things just don't work out..."

The female teenager burst into tears again and Joyce just rocked her daughter's sobbing form as gently as she could.

* * *

**Faith's former apartment, Sunnydale**

**Sunday May 30th, 1999**

**9:33 pm**

Not long after Faith had split town, Xander had moved into her former residence. He'd figured no one was likely to ask too many questions, and he also couldn't stand living with his parents anymore. He was quite right – anything to do with the missing-presumed-killed Richard Wilkins was best left ignored or forgotten according to the new Mayor, and both Anthony and Jessica Harris had barely even noticed their son had moved out after his 18th birthday.

Now Amy Madison also knew about that African tribal god that had intervened in the Scooby gang's lives, even if no one else apart from her Prom date did. So she had come here tonight to talk to Harris about it. "So, Xander. Is there anything you want to tell me about what Eshu showed you?"

Xander suddenly looked serious. "Actually, yeah. Now listen carefully. In one of the visions, you ended up putting a hex on Willow after she literally tried to destroy the world. This was long after you went back to that scumbag magic dealer Rack, and you helped get Wills addicted to the magicks..."

Amy's eyes went wide as Harris proceeded to spill everything he knew. Ignoring the look on her face, he finished up by saying, "So the way I figure it, we've got a choice here. Either do nothing, or else we split things up and try to prevent the worst parts of the visions from happening."

There was a long pause. Finally Amy asked, "What exactly did you have in mind?"

Xander started to pace. "Well, we don't want to change too much, of course, or else the information becomes completely dated. I guess my priority has to be to get to Europe and find that Rithrun Egg. Y'know, so that the bad guys don't go after it and either me, or someone else, ends up dead in Senegal. I'm going to have to recruit help of the non-backstabby kind to do it too."

"Like who?" Amy wondered.

"There's a Watcher named Robson in England, we were kinda close..." Xander ruminated, before shaking his head. "I mean, we will be. Or we would have been. Whatever. I'll find someone." He looked over his shoulder at Amy. "All that's not going to happen quickly or simply though. Which means you need to keep an eye on events here for me over the next few years."

"YEARS?!"

"Worst case scenario," Xander shrugged. "And don't forget I've also got some things to take care of in LA as well. Like making sure that guy Doyle doesn't get killed. Not to mention that asshole Holtz! Believe me, it'll save everyone a lot of heartache down the road if he just has a fatal 'accident' or something."

He turned towards Amy, who looked shocked at hearing Xander speak so glibly of causing a fatal 'accident' to someone. "Now, we've got quite a few more things to deal with here on the home front. From what I saw, Amy, Oz leaves to take care of his werewolf problem before the end of the year. And since he succeeds in that, give my old buddy a push in the right direction if it doesn't look like that's going to happen this time around. As for the Initiative, try to find an alternative to that combining spell Giles and Willow use in the final battle next year, but if you can't, make sure that they know the consequences so that Cave-Slayer doesn't get all pissed off."

Amy's mind was beginning to whirl at all the information. "What about this Glory person?"

Xander shook his head in frustration. "Her damn cloaking magic means I can't remember the identity of the guy she's hiding in. I know he works in a hospital, but that's about it. Look, Aims, be **very** careful with regard to all that, okay? If you can guess who it is from all the diseased-looking demon minions hanging around him, don't go near the man. Call me and we'll handle it together. I want to keep the Scooby gang out of the loop on this one, unless there's no other choice."

"And this Key?" the witch asked. "You said all that was going to be different this time around, right?"

"That's what Eshu told me," Harris shrugged. "Dawn will come to exist, but not the same way as before. I mean, with all those fake memories of her always being around. Heck, I don't know what's actually going to happen, but I'd say the Dawnie sitch can wait. That's over a year from now anyway. Oh, yeah, eventually you're probably going to need to take care of Billy Idol and those three nerds as well."

"Wonderful." The brunette didn't look enthused. "How do I do that?"

"Totally up to you with regard to Spike. Warren, plant some drugs on the guy and get him sent to jail. Hell, it's a better fate than Willow skinning him alive. As for the other two, well, Amy, maybe you can bring Jonathan back to the good side of the Force before he does that stupid Super-Jonathan spell next year. But Andrew, I doubt you'll have much luck treating him as anything other than a human lapdog, from what little I saw of the sycophantic chowderhead."

The young woman had yet another question. "That First Evil thing, the Big Bad that you mentioned terrorized Angel last Christmas. What if despite everything, all that happens too?"

Again Xander shrugged. "Just make sure Willow doesn't drag Buffy's soul out of Heaven if she dies for the cause, and it shouldn't be an issue. And I should be back by then, anyway. But if it doesn't pan out that way, tell Buffy to go get the Slayer scythe from the vineyard and ask the Guardian for help. And don't be afraid to use Angel or Spike as an undead sacrifice if it comes to that, either."

"And if the Council gets destroyed?" Amy asked.

Xander frowned. "I'll try to save as much as I can, maybe even set up a backup Council or something. I don't know, we'll just have to take all that as it comes." He then walked back to Miss Madison as the witch got up from the couch. "Amy, look, this is something I can't do without you. But it's a hell of a thing to ask of someone, so I'll understand if you want to back out at this point." There was a long pause as they stared at one another. "Are you with me?" Harris held out his right hand.

Amy grabbed it without hesitation as they finalized their plans, and the two teens swore an oath to succeed in safeguarding the future. Or die trying.

* * *

**Apartment B, 523 Oak Park Street, Sunnydale**

**Monday May 31st, 1999**

**10:30 am**

Rupert Giles got up with a sigh and decided to make himself a cup of tea. As far as he was concerned life on the Hellmouth had been rather quiet lately. His brood of teenagers had seemed to almost vanish out of his life, apart from Buffy of course. He was still her unofficial Watcher since Wesley wasn't part of the picture any longer.

That particular pillock had been fired from his job for being unable to find and apprehend Faith, even with all the assistance the Council had sent him. The prat had left town not long afterwards, correctly sensing that there was nothing left for him here on the Hellmouth. And since Buffy had quit the Council when they'd refused to reinstate Giles as her Watcher, he figured all those bridges had been well and truly burned. Well, c'est la vie.

If he was going to be honest with himself, Giles knew it was definitely the lack of the young people that was making him feel a bit out of sorts. It wasn't entirely unexpected, of course. Now that Buffy and her classmates had graduated high school – and ye gods, could that blasted ceremony have **been** any more boring? – things obviously had to change.

For one thing, the high school librarian knew from this point on **he** was the one who was going to have to keep watch on the Hellmouth during office hours, five days a week. Buffy was going to be a student at UC Sunnydale, living over five miles away at her campus dorm. In order to better facilitate matters he'd bought her a cell phone, in case of emergency, end of the world variety or otherwise.

Giles suddenly wondered about Faith and what the dark-haired Slayer was currently up to. He made it his self-appointed duty to see if there was any way to find her and to bring her in out of the cold, to make her part of the group again and try to set her a good example instead of a bad one.

At that moment there was a banging at the front door. With another sigh, Rupert went to answer it. As soon as he'd opened up, Buffy and Willow came in. "Er, Buffy? Willow? Wh-what are you two doing here?"

The two girls stared at him. "It's Xander!" they chorused in unison.

Giles repressed a groan. "What's that foolish boy gone and done now?"

Buffy handed him a letter, one that had Xander's barely-legible scrawl all over it. "Giles, why would he tell me to make my sure my Mom had a CAT scan or MRI every month?" the Chosen One demanded. "It's gotten me majorly worried!"

"And why on earth would he tell me about some girl named Tara, who thinks she's a demon thanks to the lies her family's been spoon-feeding her all her life?" Willow looked utterly confused as she held out her own letter.

This time, Giles did groan. "You know, contrary to popular opinion, I am not a...a Magic Eight-Ball, and I have no inner glimpses into the workings of Xander Harris's mind!"

Both female teens looked abashed and murmured a contrite "Sorry". The ex-Watcher held out his hand and briefly read the letters. However there were no clues in the written words that the British man could decipher. "I take it both of you have tried to find him?"

"Darn tootin' we have!" Willow immediately nodded her head.

"But we couldn't find him anywhere! Uh, you don't think he's decided to lay low with Faith or something, do you?" Buffy demanded.

"It's more than a little unlikely," Rupert replied. "As far as I know, no one's seen her for months. The odds are she left Sunnydale long ago, wouldn't you say?"

Before Willow or Buffy could answer, there was another banging at the door. And just as before, as soon as Giles opened it a young woman stormed inside. "You guys are not going to believe this!" Cordelia Chase exploded, as soon as she spied Willow and Buffy.

With a sharp exhalation, Giles shut the door behind her, starting to feel like a stereotypical English butler. ( _And to think just a few minutes ago I was feeling nostalgic for these people..._ ) "Cordelia. To what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"

The Chase girl whirled around and held out a piece of paper. "Read this. And tell me it's not a joke!"

Again Giles took a letter from the girl and read the contents. His eyes widened and finally he looked at the brunette with something approaching paternal pride. "My word, th-this is good news. Congratulations, Cordelia!"

"What is it?" Willow demanded, as she saw Cordy give Giles a big hug.

Buffy grabbed the letter and read it for herself. "Ohmigod! She's been offered a four-year scholarship to UC Sunnydale!?"

"Wow, congratulations is right!" the redhead instantly grinned in delight. "But Cordy, how-?"

Cordelia said excitedly, "Harmony's father is on the board of the college alumni, and she asked him a few days ago to try to do something for us to be able to go there together. Oh, I just **knew** that being best friends with her would eventually be worth something, especially now that I'm-" Miss Chase then cut herself off.

"You're what?" Willow asked curiously.

Cordelia hesitated, then said, "Well, I've...I've been working at April Fools lately. And I...well, that's it, really. It's, it's taught me the value of earning my own money. And now with the scholarship, I can meet some future lawyer or doctor there without ever having to worry about being called Daddy's spoiled princess, or a gold-digger!"

Buffy rolled her eyes, dismissing the Cordelia logic as usual. But the Rosenberg girl looked happy, "Wow, so all of us are going to be going to the same college next fall? Hey, it'll be just like high school! Me, you two guys, Oz and...well, no, not Harmony, I-I meant-"

Giles looked up. "Xander? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure he said before your finals finished that he definitely wasn't going to be attending that institute of higher education?"

The three teenage females all looked unhappy at hearing that. "So where is the big doofus, anyway?" Miss Chase asked.

Buffy and Willow explained, showing their letters to their friend. Not surprisingly, Cordelia was just as stumped as the rest of them where their male friend might be. She hadn't seen him very often since the night Xander had taken care of the Mayor, anyway.

There was a third knock on the front door, and Giles again sighed in despair as he made the torturous journey to see who was requesting entrance into his abode. But Rupert was surprised when he opened up and Amy Madison was there waiting outside.

Giles was even more surprised when the witch didn't barge past him like the others had done. He quickly realized she was politely waiting for his permission to enter. Long-term resident of the Hellmouth, Giles instinctively just gestured and did not directly invite Amy in. Even if the sun was out and nearly directly overhead, there was no point in taking unnecessary chances here.

Amy walked inside. After Giles shut the door and joined her in the living room the young woman said, "Hi. Sorry to just drop by unexpectedly like this, but I have a message for you guys."

"What is it?" Giles asked. He ignored Cordelia's glaring at the Madison girl, as Miss Chase still had some issues over what had happened at the Prom.

Amy gave Rupert a short note. The man immediately recognized Xander's handwriting. Giles suddenly stiffened, "Good Lord!"

"What?" three female voices asked as one.

Rupert just gave the letter over to them to read. "Xander's gone. He's, he's left town, and apparently he's not planning to come back anytime soon."

Amy knew however the two of them **would** meet up again one day, as they'd sworn to do last night. Of this even Eshu, watching everything from the Orisa dimension upstairs, had utterly no doubts.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** A Life Less Ordinary (3/5)

**Authors:** Starway Man and Nodakskip

**Email:** theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

**Disclaimer:** None of the Buffy or Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses.

**Warnings: **There is some angst, violence, sex references, character death and potty language in this one.

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Buffy/Angel crossover, Super AU

**Author Notes 1: **Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

**Author Notes 2: **This story is initially set at the start of an AU version of BtVS season 4, around the time of "The Freshman". It then progresses to around the time of Angel season 1 "Sanctuary".

**Author Notes 3:** Thanks as always to everyone who has reviewed. Please, keep 'em coming.

**Summary: **Things continue to change, thanks to the African god known as Eshu.

* * *

**Granite Quarry, Quincy, Massachusetts**

**Late September, 1999**

Faith LeHane wandered around the site of many a childhood memory. This had been the place where all the kids used to swim and jump off rocks during the summer, when she was younger. The Slayer stared at one rock about forty feet up. She'd been the only one that had dared jump off it, back in the day. All the other kids had been too scared.

Ever since leaving the Hellmouth, Faith had gone to a lot of places, embarking on a regular cross-country road trip. Her travels eventually led her back here though. And while they say home is where the heart is, Faith's problem was that she no longer had anyone to share her life with that way and thus she was truly homeless.

Some nights the brunette Chosen One wondered if she should have asked Xander Harris if he was interested in coming with her when she'd left California. She had no idea that her one-time best bud had departed the Hellmouth months ago and was presently in Los Angeles to find an old...friend.

* * *

**UC Sunnydale, Sunnydale, California**

**Saturday November 13th, 1999**

**4:50 pm**

A lot had happened ever since the gang had started their freshman year of college.

Buffy had been a bit overwhelmed by the huge campus, the new living conditions and the new roommate. Her encounter with the vampire bitch known as Sunday had really gotten her down as well, and Giles and her friends had had their hands full pulling her out of her funk. But after the Chosen One had eventually kicked Sunday's ass she'd figured that the new school environment wasn't so bad after all.

That was before Miss Summers had discovered her college roommate was a female Mok'tagar demon in disguise, and had been sucking out her soul. Luckily her roommate's dad had shown up and dragged his daughter home after Giles had reversed the soul-stealing gig. Buffy couldn't have been more pleased about it, saying good riddance to the so-called "Kathy Newman" and welcoming Willow as her new roommate. It was like a match made in Heaven, as long as certain protocols regarding the food were observed.

Not long after, the Scoobs had discovered that their classmate Harmony was having an affair with one of the college professors, much to Cordelia's disgust. But that revelation had paled in comparison to discovering Spike was back in town, and he'd located the vampire holy grail: the Gem of Amarra. Fortunately, he'd not stood a chance against the united Scooby Gang. During the battle, William the Bloody had lost the ring and gone on the run. Afterwards, Buffy had sent it to Los Angeles, to her ex-boyfriend Angel, for safekeeping.

Sometime later Buffy had encountered the player known as Parker Abrams. For some reason known only to the gods above, she had completely fallen for his looks and his smooth line. Their affair lasted just long enough for Parker to seduce Buffy before casting her aside like a used condom.

It was little wonder therefore that the Chosen One's pain had spanned the dimensions and attracted the attention of the vengeance demon Anyanka. Unfortunately, the patron saint of scorned women screwed up just as she'd done in a world only Eshu and Xander Harris had ever seen. Once it was all over, Anya Jenkins had arrived on the Hellmouth.

Daniel 'Oz' Osborne had not been closely involved with any of this though. After starting college, Oz had hung out mostly with the Dingoes and his friends from his first senior year of high school, who were pleased their old classmate had finally managed to join them. The only time he'd put his old Slayerette hat on again was during the Halloween from Hell in that haunted frat house, when the fear demon Gachnar had inadvertently been summoned and then later been stomped on by Buffy.

And around the time Buffy was discovering how bad an idea college beer drinking competitions could be? Oz had been busy with his new girlfriend, Veruca. A blond singer with the group 'Shy', the woman had instantly been attracted to him as much as he'd been attracted to her. And no wonder as Veruca was a werewolf as well, one advanced enough in her lycanthropy to be able to remember what happened after she transformed.

There was only one problem, though. Veruca didn't think she was a human being who became a wolf three nights a month, like Oz did. She believed she was a wolf all the time, and the human face was the mask. That was why she'd refused to lock herself up during the last two nights and roamed around loose after sunset in defiance of her boyfriend's wishes.

"Maybe you don't get it, but I'm not going to allow you to just run around and kill people anymore," Oz said in his trademark stoic way, staring at his girlfriend after he'd tracked her down in one of the lecture halls.

Veruca smirked at him. "It's almost sundown. Don't see how you're going to stop me, sweetheart, we're both going to change in a minute..."

"I've made arrangements."

Veruca lost the smirk. "What arrangements?"

"Knew some people in high school. Told them the situation. Bad comes to worse tonight, there are a couple of silver bullets waiting with our names on them. Either way, you won't be causing any more damage or slaughtering anyone."

Veruca lost it completely, feeling like her blood was boiling. Unsurprisingly, Oz also felt the same way as the sun slipped below the horizon and the change was upon them. Subsequently, for the first time, the two wolves engaged in battle and not sex. They were now animals, and animals always know when it's time to mate and when it's time to kill.

As the death duel began Werewolf Veruca was obviously stronger due to her age and experience. Yet Werewolf Oz didn't let that deter him. His fangs and claws were deadly, and even though his girlfriend seemed the early favorite in this contest his will prevailed. In the end, the transformed musician tore the female wolf's throat out.

Just in time, Buffy and her friends arrived and hit Werewolf Oz with a tranquilizer dart before he went out on the hunt himself. Willow in particular looked horrified at what her ex-boyfriend had done as they dragged away the bodies. Cordelia looked pretty green, whilst Buffy blamed herself for not putting the pieces together sooner. A few hours later, Giles decided to just quietly bury the dead girl in one of the empty graves at Restfield Cemetery and be done with it.

The next morning Oz made a decision. He knew Veruca had been right about one thing: the wolf was inside him all the time and he couldn't live like that anymore. Wondering if he would ever end up like his dead ex, the bass guitarist decided to abandon his college studies for a while and go look for a cure to his lycanthropic problem.

Oz left without fanfare, his best friend Devon the only one to wish him farewell. Barely past the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign though, Oz slowed down and stopped his van. He got out and said, "Amy? Long time no see."

The teenage witch nodded. "Yeah, it's been a while. How are you?"

The taciturn young man said, "I've got a problem. My inner wolf."

"Yeah, I figured. You killed another werewolf recently, right?"

Oz actually made an expression. "How'd you know about that?"

"It doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that there's a werewolf monk named Shantou near Lingska, in Tibet. He's able to control the transformation, and if I'm right he'll be able to teach you how to do it too. All you have to do is put together enough cash to go over there and ask him."

"Again, how do you know that?"

Miss Madison's subsequent tale of Eshu and Xander's visions of the future was almost enough to make Oz's head spin. "So you knew?" the man demanded. "You and him knew all along that this was going to happen, and you didn't warn me?"

"First of all, all I know is what Xander's told me," Amy defended herself. "And secondly, did that Veruca person try to kill Willow before you killed her?"

Oz frowned. "No."

"See? Because in Xander's vision that's what her priority was. So obviously things are different now. Look, Oz, I'm sorry if you're pissed that I didn't confide in you earlier. But Xander warned me not to." Amy shrugged slightly. "Before he left town he said not to change too much too quickly."

Oz thought about it for a while. "So what now?" he eventually asked.

"That's up to you. If you still trust me, go find your answers in Tibet," the young woman said diffidently.

"Okay," Oz nodded, before he began to head back to his van. He was already making plans to apply for a passport and thinking of ways to raise the money for his upcoming voyage. "See you around."

"Good luck!" Amy called out before heading back to her house in town.

* * *

**Boston, Massachusetts**

**Early December, 1999**

Sometimes, Whistler really hated his job.

Ever since the prankster god had come back from the future and thrown almost everything completely out of whack, it had been just one nightmare after another for the guys in his department. Oh, sure, maybe the people like Janus and Loki were really amused, sitting in the safety of their dimensions upstairs, but for the working stiffs like him it was definitely no laughing matter.

Take the current situation, for example. There was no way Blood Breath should have still retained the services of his half-Irishman seer at this point. That particular drunk should have died for the cause weeks ago. Then the Stink Guy would have gone to see the Oracles on how to bring him back and get some closure on that, and bond with the new crew. But the Oracles had closed up shop ages ago, thanks to that lousy African trickster's interference. Even if they hadn't, the vampire probably wouldn't have gone to see them now anyway thanks to the human annoyance who had shown up in LA when he damn well shouldn't have.

Whistler didn't get it. Harris had screwed up everyone's plans so completely, right from day one. There was nothing special about him, apart from maybe a great fashion sense, and yet that kid had still blundered into situation after situation. Like a rampaging bull in a china shop, Harris had wrecked and obliterated carefully crafted scenarios designed to maintain the balance.

First, there was the blondie Slayer he had brought back to life, getting around an inevitable prophecy. Then there was the Big Lie a year later, causing the Chosen One to run away to LA. He'd killed off Wilkins a year after that, long before that particular mook should have bought it. And now there was this latest stunt concerning the half-breed seer. But that wasn't Whistler's priority at the moment. What concerned him was Faith the Vampire Slayer.

Whistler knew that broad should have been in a coma right now, and then in a few months remove herself from the board by willingly going to jail for the next few years. The entire plan had been based on maintaining the balance of good and evil in this world. And everyone who was anyone would have told you it was a done deal, this time last year.

Instead, the Slayer was currently yelling in ecstasy inside this sleazy hotel as some guy started fucking her brains out. Apparently she'd mugged several vampires and demons for their cash and valuables last night and later decided to celebrate her ill-gotten gains.

The balance demon waited till they were done, checking his watch every few minutes. If it had been anyone else he would have just barged right in, but then his conversation with the original model nearly two years ago had made him leery of Slayers potentially wearing his ribcage as a hat.

"Hi there, name's Whistler."

Now alone, Faith leapt out of bed, uncaring of the fact she was as naked as the day she was born. "How the hell did you get in here?"

Whistler looked away. "Clothes. For the love of God, kid, will you please put on some clothes?"

Faith did so while Whistler stared at the wall. When she was done, the balance demon turned back and started to say, "Now, look-"

He wasn't expecting the Chosen One to grab his throat at that moment and shove him against the wall. "You think I can't tell you're a demon, even if you look human? Gimme one good reason not to tear your head off!" Miss LeHane snarled.

( _Slayers. Always thinkin' they can solve any problem with violence,_ ) Whistler thought to himself in dismay. "We need t'talk?" he managed to choke out.

"Why?" she asked.

"End o' th'world type shtuff," the demon said in a strangled voice.

Faith finally let go and Whistler rubbed his neck. "Geez, Slayer. You got major grip there-"

"Comes with the territory," Faith replied shortly. "Now spill!"

"Bottom line, you're needed in Los Angeles," the short and badly-dressed demon said to his companion.

Faith laughed outright. "What the hell makes you think I'm even interested?"

"Listen up, sweetheart. There is some heavy-duty shit about to go down in that town. You think a lot of people there are going to survive if you aren't around? Guess again," Whistler told her.

The Slayer scowled at the demon. "Bullshit!"

"She's got a point, even **I** could have done a better job of snowballing her than that."

Both Slayer and demon whirled around at the sound of the female voice. Faith frowned. "Who are you?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Whistler shouted, as he realized who was really controlling 'Amy Madison'. "Damn it, I had everything under control-"

"Actually, you only thought you did," Eshu said via his temporary host. "That's always been your kind's problem, you know. Unable to see how overconfidence is such a great weakness. After all, remember Angelus?"

"Alright, what the hell's goin' on here? And somebody better start answering, or I'm going to start breaking limbs!" Faith said in no uncertain terms upon the mention of the soulless vampire.

"Go ahead and tell her." 'Amy' seemed to smirk as she turned to the messenger for the Powers. "There's no point trying to hide it. You and yours want her out of the way for the next few years, so you thought you'd arrange for a little meeting with Wolfram & Hart, yes?" Faith's expression became frighteningly lethal as Eshu added, "Now then, little demon, I suggest you leave while you're still able to do so. Go find someone else's puppet strings to yank, I'll handle things from here."

"Yeah, right!" Whistler said forcefully.

"Perhaps you think you have a choice in the matter? Do you really want to test my patience?"

The balance demon opened his mouth, then quickly thought better of it and vanished without a sound. One moment he was there, the next moment he wasn't.

"Good riddance," Faith muttered, before turning back to the possessed Amy. "Look, whoever you are-"

"The name's Eshu."

The name meant nothing to Faith. "Whatever. Is what that Whistler guy said true, people are going to die in LA if I'm not there?"

"Oh yes," the African god of divinations never seemed to lose that damned smirk. "Despite appearances, he was too clever to lie outright to you. But the fact is people are going to die in that city whether you're there or not. The demon merely wanted to put you on a path of his choosing and, I believe the term is, 'screw you over'? If you wish to remain master of your own fate I'd suggest you stay here for a while. You have quite the upcoming date with destiny, after all."

With that, Eshu departed and Amy looked around in confusion. "Huh? What the – where am I? How did I get here?"

Faith didn't really know what to tell her. Eventually the Madison girl just teleported herself back to Sunnydale, her magical powers having been augmented by the god of mischief when he had de-ratted her. She still had a job to do as Xander's eyes and ears on the Hellmouth.

* * *

**UC Sunnydale, Sunnydale, California**

**The same time**

Cordelia Chase was not in a good mood.

The former socialite had the horrible feeling university life definitely wasn't being all that it was cracked up to be. Her friendship with Harmony had collapsed after the blond ditz had transferred to UCLA in order to avoid a scandal. The rest of the Cordettes had completely abandoned her as well after the Chase family dirty laundry became public knowledge.

Buffy and Willow just constantly seemed to get into the same sort of trouble they did back in high school and drag her along for the ride. The Beta Delta Gamma sorority Cordelia had been inducted into had been worth practically nothing in terms of improving her social position.

At that moment, Cordelia wondered if she'd have been better off heading for Hollywood and attempting to become a movie star, despite Xander's advice. Granted, she'd have been dirt poor and living in the projects, but at least she'd have been chasing her dream. Not watching where she was going, the college cheerleader bumped into a handsome young man going the other way.

"Oh! Sorry," the stranger apologized, as their books crashed down on the ground.

The brunette college girl was about to unleash her razor-sharp tongue on him in retaliation, but one look at the hunk's face convinced her not to. "That's okay," Cordy said, as they started collecting everything before the wind scattered it all away. When they straightened up, the female Slayerette held out her hand. "Hi. I'm Cordelia Chase."

The man shook it. "Graham Miller. And again, I'm really very sorry. It was totally my fault."

Not only was he a hunk, but a polite and gracious one. Ever since starting college she'd felt free to be more open (but not too open) about her sexuality, finally publicly acknowledging her attraction to both men and women. Right now Cordelia was feeling a spark she hadn't felt in quite a while. "Are you doing anything tonight?"

Graham was a bit surprised by her forwardness but replied, "No, not really."

"Great, meet me at the Grotto at eight for a coffee?"

Miller smiled. "I'll be there."

* * *

**Sunnydale High library, Sunnydale, California**

**Tuesday December 14th, 1999**

Rupert Giles looked around at the trashed library in weary pain. ( _How the devil am I ever going to explain all this to that evil odious homunculus, Snyder?_ )

He had no idea that in another world that question would have been completely moot as the principal would have long since been eaten by a gigantic Mayor-snake. Here and now though, the balding little man was still alive and in charge of the high school, which was still completely intact and still functional thanks to the machinations of Xander Harris months ago.

In the end Giles gave up wondering about it and headed for his private office. He wasn't feeling all that well, as less than a week ago the Gentlemen had come to town and stolen everyone's voices as part of their plans to harvest seven hearts from the citizens of the Hellmouth. Buffy had eventually taken on the demons and killed them with a scream as soon as she'd found their lair and recovered her voice.

But the fun hadn't ended there, oh no.

For a start, his old girlfriend Olivia had left the Hellmouth in a hurry to return to England. He'd barely even gotten a goodbye before she'd vanished out the door. Giles doubted he'd be hearing from her again anytime soon, not after the Gentlemen had almost killed her.

Then there was that blasted ex-vengeance demon Anyanka, or Anya as she called herself nowadays. She was constantly coming over and requesting – make that demanding – his help to recover an amulet she said he'd smashed in an alternate timeline, of all things. At times the ex-Watcher seriously contemplated doing just that, if only to finally get her out of his hair. However Rupert had researched Anyanka extensively and knew the moment she got her powers back the ex-demon would most likely make him eat his own liver or rip out his intestines and shove them up his arse or something.

But to be fair, Giles had to admit Anya had helped when the end of the world almost came about soon after the Gentlemen were history. Three Vahrall demons had nearly succeeded in completing a ritual that would have opened the Hellmouth and brought about Hell on Earth. The fight to stop them with everyone available, including the ex-demon, had been a vicious one. Hence, the currently trashed library.

Giles collapsed onto his chair and started to sort through the desk. He had a system in place, and knew that his list of official explanations was here somewhere. ( _Ah, let's see. Gas leak, earthquake, tornado, lightning storm, meteor, volcanic eruption, antimatter explosion, black hole..._ )

"Rupert?"

Giles looked up and saw the mother of the Slayer enter the office. "Ah, hello Joyce. What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Now that it's all over, you'll be taking Spike back, won't you?" Mrs. Summers had a hopeful look on his face.

Giles hesitated. "I was, uh, hoping he could stay in your basement for a while longer."

Joyce looked horrified. "I only took him in because you said there was literally nowhere else available!"

"Yes, I know," Giles didn't look happy. "But until we find out who exactly is part of the military unit which chipped him-"

At that moment, Anya barged into the office without even knocking. "Okay, I've done my part. Now it's your turn, help me get my amulet back!"

The librarian almost groaned out loud. "And what assurances do I have that you won't kill us all once you're Anyanka again, as you've threatened to do more than once?"

Anya shrugged. "None at all. You'll just have to take my word for it."

"And yet somehow, young lady, that's just not good enough," Joyce said rather sternly.

"Oh, pffft!" Anya just ignored that, as well as the idea that she was a 'young lady'. "Come on! Help me!" she whined.

Giles suddenly had an idea. "Maybe if you help us first."

"I've **already** helped you! And what do you mean?" Anya seemed to abruptly switch gears.

"A-a test of sorts, if you will. There's a male vampire called Spike, also known as William the Bloody. He's had an anti-violence chip inserted into his brain, so he can't harm you. We need a place for him to stay. So if you can last living with Spike a full month, without killing him, we'll discuss the situation regarding your power center again then."

"You can't be serious, can you? That's ridiculous!!" Anya cried. "You want me to share my place with a **man**?"

"Yes."

"No way!"

"Then don't bother coming here asking for help for anything ever again," the British man said, appearing to lose interest in the entire matter.

Anya was steaming at being so blatantly manipulated this way. ( _Of all the nerve! This is blackmail!_ ) But in the end, her desire to become immortal again was stronger than the revulsion she felt at taking in a male roommate. "Fine!! Just give me a day or so to get everything ready. And I **will** be seeing you a month from now."

Anya stormed out just like she'd stormed in. Joyce glanced at Giles. "Rupert, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. What if she-"

"Give me some credit, will you? Those two will never even last a week together. Either Spike will move out on his own, or she'll kill him one night when he least expects it. Either way, it solves at least one of our problems," Giles said acerbically.

Joyce nodded as she headed for the door. She couldn't understand why Buffy insisted on letting the chipped vampire live, but her little girl had already had her fill of heartache this year so Mrs. Summers knew there was no point in pushing her about this. It wasn't like Spike was in love with her daughter, like the last vampire in her life.

* * *

**Room 214, Stevenson Hall, UC Sunnydale**

**Wednesday January 19th, 2000**

**7:42 pm**

Buffy and her new boyfriend Riley Finn were in her dorm, kissing on her bed. On the brink of porno movie territory, the college girl suddenly asked, "We're not expecting anyone tonight, are we?"

"Willow said she was going to be at the science library all night," Riley replied, sucking on her ear.

"Thank God." The Slayer smiled wickedly and slowly started unzipping her boyfriend's pants.

The door opened and Willow burst in. "Buffy! Riley!"

"Or not," the undercover commando muttered, as the two hurriedly disengaged and he zipped his pants.

"Will, did I mention your timing sucks?" the Chosen One hissed.

"We got trouble!" Willow seemed upset, ignoring Buffy's complaint. "I was in the rec room. It came in through the window."

"Vampire?" Finn asked as he and Buffy got up.

"Vampires don't breathe fire!"

The trio quickly hurried off. When Buffy stormed into the room, stake upheld, she got the shock of her life when everyone yelled, "SURPRISE!!"

The Slayer instantly hid her stake and looked around wide-eyed at her best friend who had tricked her into coming to a surprise 19th birthday party. With a cheeky smile Willow said, "Guess you won't be killing anything tonight, after all."

"Don't be so sure," Buffy sent her a wry look.

The party then got underway, and Buffy spied an unexpected guest. "Mom? What are you doing here, I thought you weren't due back in town till tomorrow?"

"I came to wish you a happy birthday, dear. And give you your present."

The blonde girl opened her present and then gasped, "MOM! Is this what I think it is?!"

"Yes, dear. It's my wedding ring, the one your father gave me," Joyce said with a soft smile. "I don't have much use for it nowadays, and hopefully it'll bring you better luck than it did me."

"Mom, I don't know what to say..." The Slayer seemed truly flabbergasted and Riley frowned at the unspoken message the gift conveyed.

"Say 'Thank you, mother, and I'll treasure it always'," a British voice suddenly informed Buffy as Giles came into view.

Buffy looked at him, and then at Joyce. "It was his idea," the middle-aged woman nodded simply.

"Thank you, mother, and I'll treasure it always," Buffy said, giving her mom a hug.

Joyce hugged her back, and then said, "Well, I'd best get going. I'm sure the last thing this party needs to dampen the mood is an old person like me."

"Joyce, trust me, you're not old," Riley said at once, even as Buffy opened her mouth to deny it. The Chosen One was tempted to say 'suck-up' to her boyfriend, but quickly decided against it.

"Thank you, Riley, but still. Rupert, can you give me a lift home?" Mrs. Summers asked.

The Englishman nodded. "Yes, this isn't really my scene either. Actually, Joyce, can I interest you in a late-night cup of coffee?"

"You two alone in Giles' apartment? Well, now don't either of you dare touch any candy, you hear me?" Buffy said in a serious voice.

Riley looked confused. The two older people looked at one another before Joyce said lovingly to her daughter, "Have I told you lately that you are a demon child?"

"I wouldn't call her that," Riley wrapped his arms around the tiny blonde and gave her a kiss on the neck.

After Joyce and Giles left, the couple began to mingle as the party continued. Cake, snacks and punch were consumed, and a great time was seemed to be had by all.

"Hi, you two. Uh, glad you could make it," Willow said as she stopped by Tara and Cordelia.

The brunette smiled at her. "Hey. Um, could you keep Tara company for a minute, I just have to talk to someone..." Cordelia then hurried off in the direction of Graham Miller, who was looking rather uncomfortable alone by himself.

"How've you been?" Ms. Maclay asked Willow rather timidly.

"Okay," Willow said back in an uncertain voice. The redhead hadn't forgotten Xander's letter from way back when, and had cleared up the whole 'demon' thing that Tara was a victim of. The two knew each other both from the Wicca group they attended, and the night the Gentlemen had almost killed them before they had combined their powers to protect themselves.

What had happened that night had also made the girls aware of each other in a 'more than friends' way. After all, Tara was gay and by this point Willow wasn't interested in men anymore, not since Oz had left town after killing Veruca. But Cordelia had met Tara first and Willow felt uncomfortable thinking that way about a friend's girlfriend. Or potential girlfriend. Or whatever.

"H-how are you?" Tara asked.

"Okay. Uh, Tara, I-I-I'm fine," Willow stammered. ( _Oh gosh, she looks so cute when she makes that sort of expression...no! Bad Willow! No thinking naughty thoughts like that!_ )

The sexual tension was growing between them as Tara started to say, "Do you think sometime we could maybe-"

"NO!" Willow yelped. "Tara, I, I went through the pain of cheating once...I won't do that again!" Instantly mortified by her own words and the confused expression on Tara's face, Miss Rosenberg bolted just as Cordelia came back.

"What's her deal?" the Chase girl wanted to know.

( _This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man._ ) Tara recalled the lessons learned from one of her college classes and made a life-changing decision. "Cordelia. I, I think we need to talk."

* * *

**Bel Air, California**

**Late February, 2000**

( _How the hell do I get myself into these things? It's got to be Eshu's fault somehow! I betcha that bastard is watching all this right now, and laughing his ass off._ )

Xander wasn't wrong in thinking that, but it was neither here nor there at the moment. Harris had come to Los Angeles after he and Amy had parted ways. He had eventually done what he'd needed to in order to scrounge together enough money for his upcoming trip, along with saving Allen Francis Doyle.

Harris had subsequently been intending to head off across the country and across the Atlantic, but at that point something unexpected had cropped up. Namely, a lean and green demon named Lorne.

The anagogic creature also known as 'The Host' had told him that he couldn't leave town yet, that Xander was needed here in the City of Angels for a while longer. In this brave new world the young man had helped create, Lorne had learned that certain things weren't happening as they were supposed to, and Xander had to help out in keeping everything from falling apart.

The former Zeppo had been there to stop a drugged Angel from killing both Wesley and Doyle when the actress Rebecca Lowell foolishly doctored the vampire's drink with Doximall. After that, Harris had wanted to see for himself one particular place that had been featured in the visions Eshu had foisted upon him nearly a year ago. Xander had figured, what could it hurt? A quick look, in and out, and afterwards he'd be gone.

His little trip to Madam Dorion's demon brothel hadn't panned out that way though. By being at the wrong place at the wrong time, Xander had stumbled onto a blackmail operation being used against software billionaire David Nabbit, and run by a man named Lenny Edwards.

Right now, Harris was chasing Lenny as the man scrambled to get away with his incriminating roll of film. "Gotcha!" Xander shouted, as he jumped the guy and raised a huge racket.

"What the devil is going on here?" the proprietor of the brothel demanded when she showed up on the scene.

"I just caught this guy photographing one of your clients in bed with one of your girls," Harris replied, yanking Lenny up and twisting one arm behind his back. The camera fell to the floor with an embarrassing clatter. "Now I'm no detective, but there's only one reason I can think of why he would be doing that. And it probably wouldn't be good for business if your johns found out this place is into blackmail pictures, am I right?"

Madam Dorion glared at Xander for a moment before staring at Lenny. Recognizing Edwards she shouted, "Lina!"

The female demon came running at her mistress's summons, a half-dressed David following her. "What is it, ma?" Lina asked innocently.

Madam Dorion glared at her. "I've warned you about this before, you idiot. Whatever money you were making on the side from the extortion business, I hope it was worth it – because your services here are now terminated! Pack your things and get out. And if I ever see you in my house again don't expect to be allowed to leave through the front door."

Lina looked horrified, her tail drooping as she burst into tears and ran away. A couple of demon guards took Lenny off Xander's hands, as the former Scooby bent down to pick up the camera and film. Madam Dorion ignored him for the moment and said to David, "I'm terribly sorry for this, ah, indiscretion, sir. Rest assured it'll never happen again, I intend to conduct a full house-cleaning operation at once. In the meantime can I offer you anything, or anyone, on the house? We do value your patronage."

"I, uh, I don't think so," David stammered, utterly shocked at what he'd just learned. ( _Blackmail. Oh my God, if my stockholders ever find out about this...that's it, it's the last time I'm ever coming to this place!_ ) "In fact, I should be going."

Xander could read the writing on the wall and grabbed Nabbit's arm to guide him out of the brothel. Once outside Harris handed the billionaire the film. "Here. And take my advice, dude, from now on stay away from this part of town. I sure as hell intend to!"

"My friends never warned me this might happen," David stammered, still freaked at how close he'd come to disaster. "It was...I thought the guys were just joking about getting some tail! I-I-I thought this place was a real-life version of Dungeons and Dragons or something, you know, the whole romancing exotic demon princesses thing."

( _This guy would fit in real well with that nerd trio I glimpsed that night, no doubt about it. But hey, at least he got laid before he almost got screwed._ ) "Yeah, well, reality check pal. A whorehouse is a whorehouse, demon or human. And you almost got caught with your pants down," Xander told him in no uncertain terms.

Nabbit suddenly stopped and stared at Harris in wonder. "You saved me from that blackmailer. Uh, what can I...is there anything I can do to thank you?"

"Not really. Actually, I'm leaving the country soon," Xander shrugged. "Look, just chalk this up as a great learning experience, all right?"

"No," David shook his head. "Because I'd be in real trouble right now if it wasn't for you, and I'd like to repay my debt. Can I put you on retainer as a security consultant or something? My company has branches all over the world, so if you ever need a job wherever you're going I'd be glad to help out."

Xander considered it. He suddenly realized it might help when contacting Robson and the others to have connections with a legitimate business behind his name, so that they wouldn't initially think he was just some crazy teenage kid or whatever. "That's very kind of you. Sorry, I never got your name?"

"David Nabbit."

"Xander Harris."

The two men shook his hands and then set off for David's limo to eventually sign the papers at his corporate head office, both embarking on the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** A Life Less Ordinary (4/5)

**Authors:** Starway Man and Nodakskip

**Email:** theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

**Disclaimer:** None of the Buffy or Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses. Those parts of the story that are taken from the show episodes belong to the writers.

**Warnings: **There is some angst, sexual references, character death and violence in this story.

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Buffy/Angel crossover, Super AU

**Author Notes 1: **Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

**Author Notes 2: **This story is initially set in BtVS season 5, just after an AU version of "Buffy vs. Dracula". It then progresses to roughly just after BtVS season 6 "Tabula Rasa". There is a small amount of C/X in this one, so be warned.

**Author Notes 3: **Once again, a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Seriously, it's what makes writers want to keep on writing! But it's almost time to wrap this story up folks, just one more chapter to go after this one. So when you get to the end of the chapter, please click on that big shiny review button?

**Summary: **The further adventures of Amy and Xander. Oh, brave new world.

* * *

**1420 Truman Drive, Sunnydale, California**

**Mid-September, 2000**

Amy Madison was feeling worried as a result of the recent general mayhem. The legendary vampire named Dracula had blown through town not long ago and decided to try to turn Buffy, using Andrew Wells of all people as his thrall. It had been quite a struggle before the Slayer had...maybe...staked him.

It had been months since Amy had been in contact with Xander Harris too. If the young woman recalled right, the final occasion had been just before Oz had come back to town, his werewolf nature finally under control. The witch also vaguely remembered that the bass guitarist and the rest of the Dingoes had left Sunnydale not long afterwards to go on tour around the country, but that mattered little to her right now.

Not only did she have her hands full trying to keep Jonathan Levinson on the straight and narrow with regards to magic, Amy was constantly resisting the temptation to turn Andrew into a toad or whatever. She was also keeping an eye out for Dawn Summers and Glory. But at least Warren Mears was now in a state correctional facility for the next few years as per Xander's suggestion.

William the Bloody hated the sight of her, even if the witch could also detect a grudging respect there as well, because evil respects strength. Despite his chip and occasional quirks of humanity, and that familiarity was breeding contempt within the Scooby ranks, Amy Madison knew Spike was still a soulless vampire and not to be trusted so she kept up her guard around him.

The young woman finally finished a propitiatory ritual that was ancient practice within the Dark Continent. She had done the research and set up an altar within her home in order to do this. Spiritual tradition required the one known as Eshu be honoured first if her message were to be heard and her heart's desire granted. Amy knew gifts of toys, candies, rum and gin were much appreciated by the West African deity, and so had done her best to fulfill expectations.

"Well, now, it's been a long time since anyone has done this for me. At least in this particular part of the world."

Amy got up, almost in a panic. "Uh, hello?" She couldn't see anyone else present.

"Be calm, witch. Down here."

Amy finally noticed the figurine she'd set up, representing Eshu, alongside a child's toy representing youth and a walking stick symbolising old age, was talking to her. "Deus Eshu?"

"You don't need to use the title, I **did** once possess you after all! You have summoned the Trickster according to the old ways. Now what do you want of me? And I sincerely advise you to consider your words carefully."

Amy hesitated, gathering her thoughts. Up until now, she hadn't been sure this might actually work. "If I may ask, Eshu, where's Xander Harris? I've not been able to find him, and I'm very concerned for his well-being."

Laughter seemed to come from the figurine. "Don't be concerned about him, witch. Harris has his own path to follow, and his adventures have taken him to another world for now. He will return...eventually."

"Eventually?" Amy had to ask.

"I will speak of that no more at this time," the trickster god's graven image replied. "Now. Ask what else of me that you will."

Amy took a deep breath and explained the idea she had to take care of Glory, if the hellgod showed up and she discovered who her human host was. Eshu was a bit surprised at the audacity of Miss Madison's plan, but soon gleefully accepted the challenge and gave her his blessing if she could pull it off. After all, chaos – the creative wellspring from which beauty and delight flow and where passions arise and the spices of life are experienced – was one of his specialties.

* * *

**Apartment B, 523 Oak Park Street, Sunnydale**

**The next day**

By this point in his life Rupert Giles had gotten rather bored with his chosen vocation. Alone in his residence, the British man was seriously contemplating quitting his high school librarian job. Anya Jenkins had started hounding him to buy, in partnership with her, a magic shop business that was very lucrative but rather dangerous in terms of owner life expectancy.

( _It just hasn't been the same ever since Buffy and her friends graduated, )_ Giles ruminated sadly. ( _What am I really doing at Sunnydale High nowadays, anyway? Yes, there's guarding the Hellmouth, but is that all I'm supposed to do with my life? Grow old alone on top of the mouth of Hell?_ )

The man's thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the front door. Giles went to answer it, and upon opening up he saw a young girl around 14 years old standing outside his doorstep. "Can I help you?"

"You Giles?" the brunette female teen asked in a South Boston accent, looking around nervously.

"Yes. Um, but, but who are you?"

"Name's Donna LeHane." The human incarnation of the Key reached out and yanked out someone hiding behind the wall. "I think you know my older half-sister, Faith?"

Rupert's eyes went wide. "Faith? Good Lord! What, what are you doing here?"

"We didn't exactly have many other options," the Boston Slayer mumbled, unable to meet his eyes. She felt humiliated and, not for the first time, cursed the fact Social Services had found her and eventually granted custody of Donna to her. "Xander's not around in Sunnydale anymore, damn it-"

"Yeah, look, could we take this inside?" Donna interrupted. "I mean, Faith's told me all about this town. That's why I don't like us being out in the open this way."

Giles stood back and opened the door completely. Faith and her half-sister accepted the implied invitation and walked in. Giles still kept one hand on the crucifix in his pocket despite the sunshine factor. This newcomer was a complete unknown, after all.

Once inside, the ex-Watcher got the whole story. Donna's mother had died (or so everyone believed) and her only surviving relative was George Patrick LeHane's older daughter. Faith had attempted to clean up her act and provide a home for the other girl once the bond had been established. But the Slayer also soon realized she couldn't do it alone, the odds of her getting killed by some demon or vamp in the future were just too high.

"I see. Well, you're both welcome to stay here with me till you can find a place for yourselves," Rupert declared, remembering his vow to bring Faith in out of the cold back in 1999. "Donna, we can get you enrolled in school. No doubt your sister can find a job somewhere -"

"What about this Buffy person?" Donna demanded, not having heard anything good about the older Slayer.

"I'll, um, I'll explain it all to her somehow," Giles said rather feebly. He knew perfectly well the last time Faith and Buffy had been in the same room, the brunette Chosen One had threatened a chained-up Buffy with sharp knives whilst under the impression Angelus had been unleashed.

Still, that had been nearly 18 months and two boyfriends ago. So Giles was hoping this situation could be resolved peacefully or if not peacefully, at least decisively.

* * *

**1420 Truman Drive, Sunnydale, California**

**Mid-November, 2000**

Amy knew the time had come to carry out her plan.

Ever since Faith and Donna had arrived in town, the number of crazy people filling up the hospital psych wards had skyrocketed. She'd had to explain why, which had at least redirected Buffy's anger at having the junior Slayer back in her town. Dealing with an insane hellgod meant that righting past grievances wasn't a priority with Miss Summers anymore.

In other news, the demon Toth had shown up, as had the Maclay family and Olaf the troll, the ex-human who was Anya's ex-husband. And while Buffy Summers had been able to handle all those problems, she hadn't been able to handle the fact that Riley Finn had left her to rejoin the army. It had been the final nail in the coffin for their relationship when Buffy and Spike had found him getting sucked off by a vampire in an undead crack den.

Amy didn't know – because Xander hadn't told her – whether all that had been something pre-ordained, or the result of something arising from all the accumulated changes over the years. But either way, Spike had an open shot at Buffy now. William the Bloody had completely fallen for the senior Slayer as expected and Amy knew things could get…messy, if she didn't keep a careful eye on him.

But Spike wasn't her main concern right now. Ben, an intern Amy had met once at one of Sunnydale's hospitals, had been spotted last night in the company of Glory's minions Jinx, Dreg and Murk. As far as Miss Madison could tell those hobbits-with-leprosy demons matched the description Harris had given her of the enemy minions, and so it was time to act.

Kneeling before her altar, the young witch began to call on the services of the four gods of the Orisa, especially Eshu and Ifa, the Yoruba deity of healing and prophecy.

* * *

**Glory's townhouse, Sunnydale **

**The same time**

"Your Most Supple and Pleasing Magnificence, may we possibly have a word?"

Glory ignored Jinx even as the sycophantic minion grovelled before her. She was staring at something her male host had left lying on the floor. The hellgod glared at the crusty demon, "Tell me something. What is up with Ben?!" She held up the man's shirt. "His taste in clothes has always been pretty rotten, but this is just...ugh!"

"I'm sorry, Your Highly Fashionableness...but I fear there is little we can do with respect to he who houses Your Indescribableness. The last time we tried, Ben stabbed me for it," Dreg explained hesitantly.

Glory ran her fingers through her blonde hair. ( _Minions. I used to have much better ones before this grotesque human imprisonment._ ) "Well obviously, he didn't do a good enough job of getting rid of you."

"You are correct as always, Most Generous and Splendid Glorificus," Murk hung his head.

"Whatever. Now, do any of you three have anything even remotely interesting to tell me?" Glory demanded. "And if so, it had better be about my Key."

But whatever the three worshippers had to say was destined by the fates never to be heard, as the hellgod suddenly screamed in pain.

Glory had no idea what was going on. It suddenly felt like she was being attacked at the very core of her being, the assault bypassing her host's physical body with effortless ease and wreaking havoc with everything she was. The hellgoddess tried to fight back, but it was four against one as she retreated deep within Ben and let the intern have his body once more.

Jinx, Dreg and Murk had no idea what was going on either, but that didn't matter. A few seconds later a mystically empowered Amy Madison blasted through a wall of the townhouse, brick and plaster showering everywhere, wrecking the room almost completely. Her eyes were black, her hair was snow-white and Amy was floating on air as she came into Glory's presence.

"I call on the ancient powers to put right this terrible wrong. Let justice be done here, in the name of the gods!" Amy yelled, as a hurricane suddenly started within the townhouse.

Ben started glowing with white light and he screamed in pain. All of a sudden he morphed back into Glory, who collapsed as the light disappeared and the wind died down to nothing.

Glory slowly picked herself up off the floor. "Ohhh...what the hell hit me?" She shook her head and saw Amy standing there amidst the unconscious minions, the witch's hair and eyes having gone back to normal. Glory snapped, "I need a brain to eat. You'll do!"

But as she put her hands on Amy's head, Glory found her fingers weren't able to penetrate the human's skin in order to brain-suck her. "What the-"

Amy lashed out, viciously backhanding Glory away. The blonde flew back and landed on the floor in pain. "OW!!" The reality of the situation struck Glory, "Hey, what is this? How can I feel pain? I'm a god, and that's not part of the whole god package!"

Amy smiled triumphantly as Glory got up, "You're not a god anymore."

"How dare you!!" Glorificus screamed, sounding like a spoiled child. She rushed forward and Amy punched her in the face. A black eye would no doubt soon result.

"Hurts, doesn't it? Well, I suggest you get used to that. There's a whole world of pain out there just waiting for you to discover," Amy said maliciously.

"What have you done to me!?" Glory demanded.

"I told you. You're not a god anymore. The supernatural essence was purged, and Ben's essence has been reincarnated in a new body far away from here. He's finally free of you, and good luck to him. As for you, though...you're human now, even though you don't have a soul. So I guess it's time for you to finally learn all about the pains of humanity."

Glory screamed. Luckily, the rest of the tenants in the building had learned to ignore such things. "You change me back, you little bitch, or I'll have you skinned alive!"

Amy ignited a fireball in her hand. "You and what army?" She walked forward, bouncing the fireball and glancing at the unconscious minions. "Don't you get it yet? One bullet in the right place will snuff out your life now. You can't do squat to anyone, not anymore. The Orisa blessed me with the ability to utterly destroy you, which maybe I should have done as a kindness, but I decided instead there was a more fitting fate given how many lives you've ruined around here."

"Which is what?" Glory was feeling nervous and bewildered, and she didn't like that one bit.

"Living out the rest of your existence this way. Becoming that which you utterly despise," Amy replied, extinguishing the fireball. "You think your worshippers are going to hang around for long once they discover you're mortal now? I don't. And I don't know how long you'll last as a human, but personally I'm betting it'll be a pretty short run. Now take my advice and get out of Sunnydale while you're still able to do so."

Glory charged at Amy again, but with a flick of her wrist the witch telekinetically shoved the ex-god away. The woman slammed against the wall and was knocked out cold. Quite fitting too, as far as Amy Madison was now concerned.

* * *

**1420 Truman Drive, Sunnydale**

**Mid-November, 2001**

A full year had passed. Glory had left town not long after she'd been crippled and humbled, searching for a way to get her godhood back. But the threat potential had been fully neutralized and the Knights of Byzantium had probably killed Glory by now. Amy didn't know for sure one way or the other, however she didn't care. She'd had other things to be concerned about.

Donna had discovered she was the Key and completely freaked out. Drusilla had come to Sunnydale to win Spike back, and inadvertently revealed the secret. It didn't matter that the loony female vampire had failed to succeed in her original endeavour, the damage had been done before Dru finally left town alone.

One of Glory's more fanatical worshippers, the demon named Doc, had subsequently grabbed the teenage girl with an insane plan to bleed her once he'd located his fallen deity. Never mind that sending Glory back to her hellfire dimension as a human was a pointless exercise in futility; Doc had been sure that, once there, her powers would somehow be returned to her. Faith had chopped him into little pieces while rescuing her little sister, and afterwards life had gone on in Sunnydale the way it always did.

There was a knock at the front door of Amy's house. ( _Who could that be?_ ) the witch wondered to herself as she opened it. Amy's heart almost stopped beating when she saw Xander Harris standing there on the porch. "Xander?!"

"The one and only," the young man replied with a crooked grin. "How've you been doing, Aims?"

The female witch grabbed him into a huge hug before she slapped the man hard across the face. "You jerk, I thought maybe you were dead by this time! Where the hell have you been for the last year or so?" she demanded.

"Lots of different places. Can we continue this inside, though? I got a lot to tell you here."

Nodding, Miss Madison led him into the house without directly inviting Xander in. Once inside, she made them both a cup of coffee before the discussion got underway.

"First of all, Amy, I just want to say I'm sorry it took me so long to get back here. But hey, FedEx doesn't exactly have interdimensional service yet."

Amy stared at him. "Eshu mentioned something about that. So, you really were in another dimension? Can you tell me details?"

Xander began the tale of his travels with the Rithrun Egg. "I went to a lot of places with it, looking for the best world to hide it in. The world without shrimp, the world containing nothing but shrimp, a demon dimension called Pylea, and a troll dimension whose name I never stuck around long enough to learn. There was even one place called the land of Perpetual Wednesday! Finally I buried it deep down in an uninhabited sort of crazy melt-y world, and eventually made my way back to Earth."

"And it's taken you all this time?"

"No." Xander told his friend about the things he'd done in LA after graduating high school. "And by the way, that guy Holtz isn't an issue anymore."

"How come?"

Xander had a devilish smile on his face. "I trapped his demon buddy Sahjhan in a Resikhian Urn after I tracked down that damn time-shifter. And as far as I'm concerned, Holtz can rot inside that statue prison of his for the rest of eternity." Amy had almost forgotten how much Xander disliked the antiquated vampire hunter from what little he'd foreseen back then. Harris suddenly looked concerned, "What about Buffy? She never died six months ago, did she?"

"No. And if you didn't know, Faith's the one who ended up as the Key's big sister instead of her. Oh, and Eshu and his friends helped me take care of Glory before she could find Donna," Amy replied.

"Huh?" Xander's mouth fell open as the witch told her story. In the end he said, "Wow. That's just...wow. Aims, you're a goddess!"

"Not exactly." Amy nonetheless looked happy at receiving the compliment. "Anyway, what about the Council?"

"Oh yeah, them. Well, I got hold of Robson and Nigel and a few others just like we planned. I showed them just how lax their security was and they listened to my suggestions. So now these days there isn't just one central location for the bad guys to attack, and there are backups of all their books and resources in a few places around the world. It's the best we could hope for under the circumstances, I'm thinking."

The Madison woman nodded. "So then, mission accomplished?"

"I guess," Xander shrugged. "That vow we made, I guess it's been fulfilled now. Unless...wait, what about Spike?"

"He's still around, and in love with Buffy," Amy sighed. "There hasn't been any sign of an attempted rape like you mentioned, though."

Xander nodded, that wasn't surprising given the current circumstances. "I still think we should keep a very close eye on him."

"We?" Amy asked.

Xander nodded. "I'm moving back. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home sweet Hellmouth."

* * *

**Sunnydale High, Sunnydale**

**Not long afterwards**

Cordelia Chase saw Buffy Summers glaring at her mother, Joyce, and tried not to wince at the sight.

Cordy's life was very different now in some respects from what it might have been had Xander Harris cheated on her during high school instead of the other way around. Miss Chase was set to graduate UC Sunnydale with the class of 2003 instead of being a seer and failed actress in Los Angeles. In effect, here and now she had become the 'normal' member of the group. The powerless one, so to speak, who everyone privately thought had the least to offer during apocalypse season.

Her love life had been nothing to cheer about either. Cordelia had been involved with a few people ever since Harmony Kendall had left town two years ago, but nothing special had ever arisen out of those relationships, be it with man or woman. Graham Miller had disappeared along with the rest of the Initiative and Tara had chosen Willow instead of her. But Miss Maclay had also helped Cordelia as a friend, for which she was very grateful to the shy blonde.

Anya Jenkins however was a totally different matter. In Cordy's opinion the bottle-blond was a disaster constantly waiting to happen. They didn't get along at all, and probably never would. And to Cordelia's mind it was so totally all Anya's fault about the current mess as well.

The woman had been talking about her demon days recently, **again**, as if anyone was even remotely interested. Just the other day Anya had spilled the news that she had almost been summoned twice for Buffy's services, the first time being when Angel had left her during senior year.

The resulting emotional firestorm hadn't been pretty. Unwilling to lie regarding what Anya had said about her actions, Joyce had pleaded with Buffy to try to understand that what she'd done had been for her own good, that her relationship with Angel had been doomed anyway.

But her daughter hadn't wanted to hear it. "And **that** was your only motivation? Yeah, I'm sure! I should've guessed. God I'm such an idiot. You always hated Angel, right from the start!" The fury in the Chosen One's voice had seemed truly staggering.

"No, it wasn't like that! Buffy, sweetheart, please listen to me-"

"I am **done** listening to you, Mother!" Buffy had shouted. "Because thanks to you, I ended up with Parker and Riley, instead of the only guy I've ever really loved! You destroyed my life, and I'm **never** going to forgive you for that!"

"Buffy, that's enough!" Giles had interrupted. "Your mother doesn't deserve that-"

"Giles, my mother lied to me – directly to my face. And she hurt me, she **betrayed** me by going behind my back that way. I don't care if it was for my own good or not, I don't care if it was the right thing to do or not!" Buffy had ranted. "She had no right to do what she did, and I honestly dare you to tell me any different."

Joyce had been in tears by that point, truly not anticipating how her actions would come back to bite her this way. That was why Willow, who, along with Anya, had been present to witness that conversation, had decided to do something to try to fix the situation.

Just like in a world that Eshu had let Xander glimpse nearly three years ago, Willow Rosenberg had started using too much magic. She wasn't addicted to it yet, but she was getting there. There was nothing Tara, Jonathan or Amy could say to convince the redhead otherwise. Willow was so used to being ahead of the rest of the class that she was now simply incapable of heeding the warnings of others.

The gang didn't know it, but their red-haired friend had decided to use Lethe's Bramble to make everyone forget about the news regarding Joyce and Angel. She wasn't worried about adverse consequences because she had recently performed the same spell on Tara, to make her forget about their lovers' quarrel, and it had worked perfectly. It didn't matter to Willow that she was violating the minds of other people without their consent. She believed she knew best, and that was quite simply that.

The Chase woman was suddenly distracted when an oddly familiar voice called out, "I don't believe it. You people **still** hang out here in the library?"

"Xander!" Buffy shrieked in excitement, forgetting her current hostilities towards her mom. "Oh my God, you freak of nature, it's been years! Where the hell have you been all this time?" She ran over and gave him a huge hug. Willow and Cordelia just stared at the new arrival in disbelief, wanting to hug him too but not sure what sort of reception they'd get.

"Like I told Aims here, lotsa different places Buffy," Xander replied as the Slayer disengaged and both Amy and himself entered the library. "Hello, all."

"Hello, Xander," Joyce said at once, glad to see a familiar face.

"Who is this guy?" Anya demanded bluntly, as Harris momentarily froze in recognition of her. ( _You! You're Anya, the ex-demon...but where the hell did you come from?_ )

"My word, Xander," Giles said, ignoring Anya's question. "I, I haven't even thought of you in ages-"

At that moment, Spike came running into the library. He was wearing an old-fashioned brown suit with a bow tie, and a padded hat with earflaps. "Spike?" Rupert looked amazed.

The vampire took off the hat. "I need you lot to give me asylum!"

"I'll say," Xander muttered in disbelief. The visions hadn't prepared him for anything like this. ( _Things musta really changed around here ever since I left town!_ )

"Spike, w-w-what on earth are you wearing?" Tara asked, not sure if she could believe her own eyes.

"It's a disguise, woman. Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now." Spike turned to face Buffy. "You met him last night, actually. Toothy bloke with the baby-seal breath, remember?"

"Yeah. And I still think that if I just stopped saving your life, it would simple things up **so** much," the Slayer retorted in disgust.

William the Bloody ignored her comment. "Nasty fella, he is. Ugly too. He's got a mouthful of choppers just waiting to be yanked out and worn as necklaces." Finally, the chipped vampire noticed Xander. "Oy, you look familiar. Do I know you?"

"That's it. Does everyone know this man except me?" Anya asked her vampiric ex-roommate. She turned to one person who hadn't spoken yet. "Cordelia, how about you?"

"Hello, Xander." Cordelia Chase tried to keep a poker face as painful memories suddenly surfaced.

"Cordy." Xander's expression was equally stony. He turned to face the redhead. "Willow. Long time no see." Xander then faced Tara. "Tara Maclay, right?"

"Y-y-yes. Willow's told me all about you, how you and she w-w-went to high school together," the shy blonde stammered.

"Bloody hell, now I know who you are! You're that nummy treat Angelus offered to me during Parent-Teacher Night!"

His expression not altering one iota, Xander walked up to the vampire and gave him a savage kick to the nuts. "Good to see you too, Spike," Xander said casually as the peroxide-blond vamp collapsed to the floor and wheezed. "How's dear old Dru these days?"

"Xander, what did you do that for?" Buffy demanded.

"This **thing** was gleefully killing people less than three years ago, and you need to ask me that?" Xander said scornfully. "Question. How many widows and orphans are there in existence because of him, Buffy? And I mean now, today, I'm not talking about the people who lived years or decades ago. So why the hell isn't this vampire dust already?" He knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from her own lips.

"He, he can't hurt anyone now, the chip doesn't let him," Willow said, noticing Spike get up and back away. She then quickly explained what that was, assuming that Xander didn't know thanks to his long absence.

Xander shook his head. "I shoulda known, after the way you and Buffy always defended Deadboy back then. Wake up, Willow! You think that chip is going to last forever? One day you people might end up real surprised, not to mention **dead**, when Spike gets his bite back." Xander wisely decided not to mention the First Evil's name for now.

Everyone stared at him, those who had known Harris back in the old days abruptly remembering how much he'd always hated vampires. And while William the Bloody wasn't the type to run off with his tail between his legs, he **did** know when a serious threat to his immortal existence had just arrived on the scene. ( _Going to have to get rid of the bloody whelp somehow._ )

Cordelia suddenly asked, "Can we speak in private for a moment?" She wanted to talk to her ex about the whole cheating thing and preferred not to have an audience for that conversation.

Xander shrugged and nodded, and the two headed for the library stacks. Unnoticed, Willow checked the glowing green crystal in her belt pouch. She knew that when it turned black the spell would activate and erase the bad memories. Unfortunately, what she didn't know was that elsewhere at Anya's apartment, a spark from the fire had landed on the bag of herbs Willow had left lying beside the fireplace. All of the Lethe's Bramble therein began to burn with a green light.

Willow returned the crystal to the pouch. It suddenly turned changed color and at that moment she dropped to the floor unconscious. Tara collapsed too, as did Anya, Buffy, Amy, Spike, Giles and Joyce. In the stacks Cordelia and Xander fell to the ground in a heap as well, out of sight of the others.

* * *

**Sunnydale High, Sunnydale**

**Not long after nightfall**

The loan shark demon, somewhat euphemistically known as 'Teeth', was in a fairly good mood. There were a lot of things he wanted in life, such as a house in Bel Air and a generous-sized swimming pool to go with it, and he was confident of one day having enough currency to buy them. The plan therefore was to start with the forty Siamese kittens that 'Mister Spike' owed him.

As he and his vamp minions strode through the school corridors that night, Teeth began to contemplate various scenarios in his head. If Mister Spike had the Slayer on his side, it wouldn't do to antagonize her if he found them together in the library. On the other hand, he couldn't let it become known that he was intimidated by the Chosen One either, that would be bad for business. ( _Hmm, perhaps the best bet is to try to isolate the mark, get him somewhere alone where he has to pay up?_ )

"Boss? They're all asleep," one of the vampires said stupidly as the demonic trio entered the library and saw what had happened.

"Yes, I can see that. Wake them up," Teeth replied in annoyance, spying Spike with Buffy just as he'd feared.

"Why don't we just have a free meal instead? I heard that Slayer blood is like an aphrodisiac or something," the other minion grumbled.

"You two can eat on your own time," Teeth said firmly. ( _It really is impossible to find good help nowadays._ ) "Now wake up the vampire, I don't have all night to get those tabbies he owes me!"

"What the hell's going on here?" Faith's harsh voice said from the doorway, just as one of the vamps started slapping Spike's face.

"Good evening," Teeth said pleasantly to her. "We just arrived looking for Mister Spike. And who might you be?"

"Boss? That's the other Slayer I told you about," one of his lieutenants said fearfully.

Faith was momentarily glad Donna was at her best friend's house tonight, as she spied all the bodies on the floor. Without hesitation she started to attack the undead, dusting one and then chasing both Teeth and the other vamp out of the library.

Only moments after Faith left, Spike finally became fully conscious and lifted himself up. ( _What the hell's going on here?_ ) he wondered, his memories completely suppressed by Lethe's Bramble.

He quickly roused the others. "Who are you people?" the vampire who didn't know he was a vampire demanded.

Everyone looked at each other. "I don't know," and "I don't remember," were the most common answers.

"Okay, where the hell are we?" Buffy then asked.

Giles looked around. "It looks like a, a library of some sort. So does, um, does anyone remember anything? Like how we all got here?"

Everybody shook their heads 'no'. "Well, maybe we all got...terribly drunk, and this is just some sort of, uh, memory lapse?" Joyce asked hesitantly.

Anya shook her head. "I-I don't see any booze. I don't feel any head bumps either." She looked around for a moment. "And I don't see Allen Funt."

"Who?" asked Giles in confusion.

Tara began to look frightened. "What is all this? Who are you people?"

Buffy immediately tried to reassure her, "Hey, hey, take it easy. Okay, no one's hurt are they? And, and none of us look all hatchet-y-murder-y, so...we're probably safe. Here. Wherever here actually is."

"She's right. Don't worry, we'll all get our memories back and it'll all be right as rain," Giles reassured Tara as well, out of habit more than anything else.

"Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent," Spike sneered as everyone looked at him. "You Englishmen are always so..." The vampire paused, as realization set in. "Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh God! I'm English!"

Giles put his glasses on. "Welcome to the nancy tribe," he said with an air of satisfaction.

William the Bloody looked horrified. "You don't suppose that you and I...we're not related, are we?"

Anya shrugged. "There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance."

Giles smiled with pleasure at Anya before saying to Spike, "And you do inspire a, um...particular feeling of...familiarity and...disappointment." William the Bloody walked up to his compatriot, scowling. They looked at each other as the former Watcher guessed, "Older brother?"

Spike scoffed, "Try father." He ignored Giles' look of outrage. "Oh, God, how I must hate you."

"Me? What did I do?" Giles demanded.

"There's always something, isn't there? And what's with the trollop?" Spike nodded towards Anya.

"Hey!" shouted the ex-demon.

Giles looked astounded. "Her?"

Spike gestured, "I saw you! Sleeping together."

"Resting together," Giles corrected him at once.

"She looks young enough to be his daughter," Amy finally spoke up.

Spike quickly dismissed the idea that Anya was his sister as he looked around and spotted Joyce near Buffy. "So are you me mum, then?"

"I don't know. But I, I don't think I'm English," Joyce looked horribly confused.

The vampire shrugged. "Well, if it's not you...then who's the old man shacked up with out of all the bints around 'ere?" Spike wanted to know.

"You think I'm old? You little twerp, I'm young enough to still get carded," Rupert snapped at his so-called 'son' as the women all looked embarrassed.

Willow suddenly had an idea. "Carded! Driver's licenses!" Everyone reached into their pockets and bags to dig out I.D. "Hey, I'm Willow Rosenberg. Huh, Willow. Funny name."

Tara said shyly, "I think it's pretty."

The redhead instinctively smiled at the blonde witch. "Whadda you got?"

The blonde held up her I.D. "Tara Maclay. And look, I'm a student at UC Sunnydale."

Willow said excitedly, "Me too! Hey, maybe we're study buddies."

Amy looked at everyone as Buffy discovered her own student I.D. "I don't have a wallet-"

"I'm Buffy Summers!"

"Buffy?" everyone echoed in disbelief.

Joyce looked through her purse. "I'm, uh, Joyce Summers, I live at 1630 Revello Drive..." Her eyes went wide. "Oh, you're my daughter!"

The Slayer rushed to examine the photo Joyce withdrew from her purse, and then embraced her mother. "Mommy!"

Miss Madison looked at Anya and Giles, "How about you two?"

The 1100-year-old woman said proudly, "I'm Anya Jenkins, and I was born on the fourth of July. Ha! Okay, who's mommy's little patriot?"

( _Definitely no daughter of mine, then._ ) Giles examined his I.D. "I'm, uh, Rupert Giles."

"Rupert?" Spike giggled.

"You're not too old to put across my knee, you know...sonny," Giles fished for the right name as Spike kept laughing. "What did I call you, anyway?"

Spike examined his stolen clothing and found a label on the inside of his suit jacket. "It says, 'Made with care for Randy'." He suddenly looked pissed. "Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles', or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason why I hated you!" he snarled at Rupert.

"Well, um. Randy's...a family name, undoubtedly," Giles looked very unsure of himself.

"Look, we all need to figure out what's going on here. We have no idea what's wrong with us, and we need help. I'd say a hospital is our best bet," Joyce said firmly.

"I'm with Mom, definitely," Buffy immediately threw her weight behind her parent's decision.

The others all quickly agreed, and as they walked out of the high school library Amy asked, "Where...hey, are we in some sorta high school?"

"Looks like it," Anya agreed, looking around at all the classrooms in the hall corridor.

"I wonder why? No, never mind. How are we going to get to a hospital from here?" Willow wanted to know.

"Oh, I'll bet you Dad can drive us there. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport outside in the car park. Y'know...something red, shiny, shaped like a penis," Spike smirked in a very annoying manner.

"You must take after your mother," Giles grumbled as they all walked off.

At that moment, having remained completely unnoticed in the stacks, Xander and Cordelia finally woke up as well.

Cordy found herself snuggled up against something warm. She liked it and burrowed deeper into the warmth, until she opened her eyes and found herself alone with some guy she didn't know. The young woman gasped and instantly moved back.

Xander, who had opened his eyes as well by now, demanded, "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are you?" Cordelia snapped heatedly, as they both got up.

"I...I don't know," Xander confessed. "Not a clue. What about yourself?"

Cordelia began to look freaked. "I don't know either! I, I just woke up right now, and I have no idea who I am!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Xander said hurriedly. "I'm not going to hurt you, alright? I promise."

"Okay...but where are we?" Cordelia asked, looking around.

"Looks like some sort of public library," Xander mused. "Hello? Anybody?"

"Hey! You don't yell in a library!" Miss Chase chastised him.

"Well they can revoke my library card, for all I-" Just like Willow not long before, Xander got the same idea. "Card! Driver's license!" He fished out his I.D. "It's me! 'Alexander Harris'. Huh, so that's my name."

Cordelia got out her UC Sunnydale student card. "I'm Cordelia Chase...Cordelia? Oh dear God, my parents were King Lear freaks?!"

"Well, I kinda like the name," Xander shrugged.

Cordy stared at the guy, abruptly jumping to conclusions. "Are you...the way we woke up together. Do you think you're my boyfriend?"

Xander stared at her, uncertain what to say. "Um. Well. You're, uh, y'know, you're one smoking hot babe, so I definitely wouldn't object to that scenario..."

( _Hmmm. I guess you're not so bad-looking yourself._ ) Cordelia hesitantly took Xander's hand as they walked out of the stacks. "Hello? Librarian person? Anybody?" she called out. There was nothing but silence in reply. "Oh my God, it's after sunset!" Miss Chase said, as she looked up at the skylight. "The library's closed, Alex, we're going to be stuck in here all night!"

"Hold up," Xander pointed. "Doors."

The former couple walked out into the school corridor and eventually found the parking lot outside. "What the hell were we doing asleep in a high school library?" Cordelia wanted to know.

Again Xander shrugged. "Beats the hell out of me. Maybe we were high school sweethearts, and just wanted to indulge in a bit of nostalgia?"

Cordy screwed up her forehead in concentration. "Uh, I guess that makes sense. Well, as much as anything does right now."

"So. Hospital?" Xander suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

**Sunnydale Motor Inn, Sunnydale**

**Later that night**

Having left Sunnydale Memorial Hospital – a different hospital to the one the rest of the Scooby gang had visited, it should be pointed out – Cordy had accompanied her ex back to his temporary accommodations upon being told there was nothing more the staff could do for either of them. She had no idea where her dorm at UC Sunnydale was, and it was far too late to make any sort of official inquiries tonight, so there was no other choice but to follow her maybe-boyfriend back to his place.

It hadn't been hard to find the motel, thanks to some papers Harris had had on his person. The problem however was that the place was booked solid, and Xander's room only had the one bed. "Um, I can take the floor tonight if you want-" he began to say.

"Hey, it's your room. If anyone should take the floor it should be me," Cordelia replied. "So, what have you learned about Alexander Harris?"

"Well, apparently, he just moved here. Works for a software company called Nabtech based in LA, as part of the security staff," Xander looked over the sheets he'd found. "Talk about weird."

"So what are you going to do? I mean, you can't do your job like this, can you?" the college cheerleader asked.

"Kinda doubt it. So I'll...talk to my supervisor tomorrow, I guess. Tell him I've completely lost my memory, and maybe apply for medical leave till I can remember everything I've forgotten," Xander seemed pessimistic about the chances. "What about you?"

Cordy exhaled. "Go to the student office first thing in the morning, and try to find out where the hell I live. Look up my parents and the rest of my family as well..." She suddenly looked very worried. "Oh my God. What if I'm an orphan? What if I don't have anybody?"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Xander grabbed hold of Cordelia's hand, correctly sensing she was about to freak out. "I mean whatever else happens, you've got me."

Cordelia Chase stared at this stranger who, in her present state, was currently the only source of comfort in the entire world. Weird feelings coursed within her at his presence. Ever since she had woken up, there was the strangest sensation of...familiarity, and intimacy of some sort. But there was also...regret? Cordelia didn't understand, but suddenly she made a decision to try to find out.

Slowly, carefully, the brunette girl pressed her lips against his, ignoring Xander's surprised expression. If he was her boyfriend, this shouldn't really be a problem. If he wasn't or they simply didn't click, then she'd just apologize and back off.

Thus, Xander and Cordelia kissed. It felt very familiar to both of them and it also felt...right, at least on Cordy's part. The kiss grew deeper and more passionate as Miss Chase felt her maybe-boyfriend's tongue softly enter her mouth. She gladly accepted him, swiftly moving into his arms as the former couple furiously began making out.

When they finally came up for air, Cordelia said throatily, "Mister, there is no way in hell either of us are sleeping on the floor tonight."

Xander just grinned at her, as the two amnesiacs ended up in bed together. The struggle to define themselves, the search for some sort of self-identity, had led these two particular people to make this particular choice tonight.

And Eshu, watching the proceedings from high up above, just could not stop laughing over what his favorite mortal had gone and done this time.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** A Life Less Ordinary (5/5)

**Authors:** Starway Man and Nodakskip

**Email:** theop at kew dot hotkey dot net dot au, Nodakskip at aol dot com

**Disclaimer:** None of the Buffy or Angel references belong to us, but rather Joss and his gang of idi...er, geniuses. Those parts of the story that are taken from the show episodes belong to the writers.

**Warnings: **There is some angst, potty language, sexual references and character death in this one.

**Rating: **R

**Category: **Buffy/Angel crossover, Super AU

**Author Notes 1: **Thanks to Francis Eugene for invaluable suggestions and beta reading services. No offence or disrespect is meant to anyone of any religious persuasion with some of the subjects mentioned in this fanfic.

**Author Notes 2: **This story is initially set in Angel season 3, during an AU version of "Quickening". It then progresses to a few days before BtVS season 7 "Conversations With Dead People". There is a certain amount of C/X in this one, so again be warned.

**Author Notes 3:** Well, here we are at the end of another story. We hope that you've enjoyed the fruits of our labor, and that any plot holes and mistakes were kept to a minimum. A special thank you to all the people who have left reviews or feedback over the course of the story – you know who you are. And so, on to the final chapter of this tale...

**Summary: **Xander can't believe what sort of a mess he and Cordelia have ended up in. Oh well, they'll just have to make the best of it.

* * *

**Xander Harris's apartment, Sunnydale, California**

**Wednesday November 28th, 2001**

**11:35 pm**

Xander Harris pulled on a shirt after his brief shower, and winced when he noticed the souvenir scar from that rebar on his lower body. The young man had arrived back home after a meeting with David Nabbit in LA, 'home' now being the same place Xander had briefly lived in before he'd left town after high school. Harris hadn't stayed at the Sunnydale Motor Inn for much longer after the night he and Cordelia Chase had...well, totally screwed each other's brains out, whilst in the grip of that magically induced amnesia.

Over the last two weeks, Xander had tried not to think too deeply about how he and his ex-girlfriend had gotten intimate that way. Granted, some of the things said that night were enough to bring an involuntary smile to his face. Comments like "Uhhh! You stop now and I'll kill you!" and "Oh God, you're gonna split me in two!" do have that effect on most guys.

But after Faith, Jonathan and Andrew had tracked down the Scooby gang, and Jonathan had ended Willow's handiwork, a panting Xander and Cordelia had abruptly gotten their memories back. Subsequently all the orgasms in the world hadn't been enough to keep Harris in the same bed as her any longer. Cordelia had quickly left, feeling embarrassed and humiliated. Xander himself had had a very stiff drink to try to cope with what had happened.

Ever since then Xander had honestly wondered what all that really said about his character. Why on earth had he jumped into the sack with a woman who (in a sense) he had just met barely a few hours before? Okay, there had been circumstantial evidence that he and Cordy were together romantically, but surely that wasn't enough to justify rushing things.

Harris had also briefly wondered if his acquaintance, the trickster god Eshu, had been behind it all, but in the end decided otherwise. The West African deity may have been a hard taskmaster, but not an evil one. Xander had figured out by now that that particular time-travelling entity was basically like a kid who missed his favorite toy, after his future self had ended up dead in another timeline. Eshu and he weren't friends: Harris knew he was just a source of constant amusement to the god of mischief, almost as much as his partner-in-crime Amy Madison.

A knock on the front door distracted Xander from his thoughts. As soon as he opened up his eyebrows quirked in surprise. "Faith? What are you doing here?"

"I was kind of hoping we could talk. Can I come in?"

Xander gestured and the Slayer walked in. After he shut the door, Faith looked around and said hesitantly, "Nice place..."

"Lived here for a while, around two and a half years ago," Xander replied. "And before you say anything, I know that you used to live here too."

"How did you-" the Chosen One started to say suspiciously.

"The same way I knew you'd started working for the Mayor, before anyone else did." Xander noticed his former friend grimace at the mention of Richard Wilkins. "I always wondered, Faith. Why'd you do it? Why couldn't you have trusted me to help you instead? I thought we were friends."

Even though she'd been expecting this, Faith still winced at the calm and level tone as his words penetrated her admittedly thick hide. "Look, I know I fucked up back then, okay? I admit it, I screwed things up real bad and I honestly don't expect you to believe me now. But I still need to say it. I'm sorry for what happened that night when Fang and I met you on the street and he knocked you out cold. I don't know what I can do to make it up to you, Xander, but I really do regret all that now."

The former class clown did not simply dismiss her words out of hand. "Apology accepted. It's a helluva lot more than I ever got from Deadboy, anyway. But that still doesn't answer my question. Why?"

Faith collapsed onto the sofa, trying to find a way to explain. However all she could come up with was, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"What?" Xander demanded, flabbergasted.

"Look, pal, when I was a kid in Boston I didn't have anyone on my side," Faith told him. "My dad was just some guy in jail, and my mother ended up a hooker after one of her boyfriends...you know. When I ran away and started living on the streets, I quickly learned that either you back the winner in a turf war...or you become nothing but a bloodstain on the sidewalk."

The Slayer gestured slightly, "Back then, it didn't matter if you were the good guys or you had God on your side, or whatever. I figured the boss was gonna come out on top in that fight, and I had to look out for number one. So I made my choice after Trick got his that night. I already said it, I know I fucked up with all that. But ever since Donna showed up in my life I've been trying to make amends. I know it's not gonna make a damn bit of difference to Finch...but I'm still trying, damn it. And that's gotta count for something, right?"

Xander didn't know what to say to her. On the one hand, he was still a little bitter their friendship hadn't meant enough to her to let him in and try to help, that the Chosen One had willingly switched sides to join an enemy he personally had to slay back then. On the other hand though, Xander could sort of see where Faith was coming from. It didn't mean that he agreed with her logic, but it was at least understandable. "How is Donna nowadays?" the man finally asked.

"She's good," Faith replied, lightening up a little. "And just so ya know, she's developed a wicked bad crush on you."

"Really?" Harris asked. He hadn't spent much time around the Key, so this was sort of unexpected. ( _Talk about love at first sight, or puppy love anyway. Guess some things really are inevitable, whether her name's Dawn or Donna..._ )

"Hell, yeah. Not too surprising though, I mean who else is she gonna start lusting after? G is way too old, Fang junior is way too dead, and both those nerds B replaced you with barely even qualify for the Y chromosome club. Girl shares half my genes, so ya better watch out. One night when the squirt's old enough, smart money says she'll sneak into your bedroom and throw herself right on top of you."

Xander shuddered. "Tell her I already have a-" He quickly shut himself up.

"Ain't gonna lie for you, stud," Faith grinned. "And for the record, if you ever hurt my little sis? I'm gonna rip it off and shove it down your throat, comprende?"

"Yeah," Xander scowled. "I guess that shows how little you really think of me, if you honestly believe that I'd ever do something like that to an underage kid like her. Or has Cordelia been telling you stories about what happened between us?"

Faith held out her hands in apology. ( _Geez, can I never stop screwing up with this guy?_ ) "Hey, didn't mean nothing by it. Just the obligatory warning to make sure you know where you stand. And you think Queen C confides in me, even after all this time? It's been over a year, and she still doesn't trust me," Faith grimaced.

Xander shrugged, and then they talked for a while longer. By the time the Slayer finally left, far away in Los Angeles it started to pour down as Darla staked herself, and the miracle child named Connor arrived into the world.

* * *

**Room 229, Stevenson Hall, UC Sunnydale**

**Sunday December 23rd, 2001**

**10:07 am**

A loud **ding** pulled Cordelia Chase out of her thoughts as she listened to the voices of her friends outside the dormitory's communal bathroom. ( _Third time's the charm..._ ) Cordy mused. ( _Oh, please, like you don't already **know** what it's going to say!_ )

She picked up the plastic strip lying on the sink's edge. Its color was what she'd known it would be: blue. No doubt about it, she was pregnant.

The brunette walked outside as Buffy, Willow, Tara, Amy and even Anya crowded around her. "Well? Well?" all of them demanded.

Cordelia shook her head. "Not here. Back in my room."

The troop of women made haste back to Cordelia's dorm. "So have you got a bun in the oven, or what?" Anya demanded.

Cordelia scowled at her. ( _Why the hell is she even here again?_ ) "Yeah, I do. The test was positive. Again."

Willow looked green at the latest consequences of her 'tabula rasa' spell. "Oh my God! Cordelia, I'm so, so **sorry**!"

"Hey, that part of it isn't exactly your fault," the college cheerleader grated. "Nobody put a gun to my head and forced me to have sex with Xander. I mean we both wanted it, so if you wanna blame somebody for what happened then blame me and him for being unable to control our hormones. Or else the condom company for manufacturing such a lousy packet of Trojans."

"Th-this is h-h-huge," Tara stuttered. "What are you going to do?"

"Hell, I don't know." Cordelia fell back, so she was lying down on the bed. "Okay, let's examine the options. Abortion? Forget it. Adoption? No way..."

"So you're going to keep it?" Buffy looked strangely at her classmate. She was feeling almost...envious, because as a Vampire Slayer she knew the odds were she'd never live long enough to have children.

"I don't know," Cordelia gritted out in response. "For God's sake, I just found out for sure what's going on, okay? I need some time to process all this!"

"Are you going to tell Xander?" Amy asked, suspecting Cordelia wouldn't like hearing that particular question.

She got up and said, "Well...what exactly do you suggest I do? Show up on his doorstep and say, 'Hi, Xander. I know I told you I just want us to be friends now, but you see lately I've been throwing up non-stop. Plus my home pregnancy tests all came back positive. I haven't slept with anyone except you in ages, so I guess that means you're going to be a father in about seven and half months'. What do you think the odds are he'll just slam the door in my face?"

"Xander's going to hate me for this. Forever," Willow said miserably, wallowing in the depths of despair and self-blame as Tara uncomfortably glanced in her direction.

"Not necessarily," Anya said in a reasonable voice as everyone turned to look at her. "I mean, think about it." The ex-demon pointed at Cordelia, "You cheated on him with his best friend years ago, and now you're an unwed mother-to-be with half a college education and damned few prospects. Plus, your unborn child is going to grow up knowing that its father despises its mother."

Anya turned to Willow, ignoring Cordy's expression. "And you're going to be constantly beating yourself up over the fact that you acted like an idiot, and one who's also become a magic addict. So from a vengeance perspective, the man should be completely satisfied with everything that's happened. I for one honestly can't think of any reason why he'd hate you!"

( _That's some pretty bizarre logic, even for her._ ) "Anya, have you even remotely heard of the word 'tact'?" Buffy asked hopelessly, seeing both Cordelia and Willow about to burst into tears.

"M-maybe we should give Cordelia some alone time," Tara said hesitantly. All the others eventually nodded. As they started to file out Miss Chase asked the blonde witch to stay, which wasn't too surprising since the friendship between Tara and Cordelia nowadays was almost as tight as the one that had once existed between Xander and Willow.

Once they were alone Miss Maclay kept silent, waiting for Cordelia to say whatever was on her mind. Eventually the brunette muttered, "What am I going to do, Tara?"

"You'll do your best, the same as always," the Wiccan said in a calm and reassuring voice, her stutter somehow vanishing in private. "And don't worry, you won't be alone in this. Your child is almost certainly going to be spoiled rotten by all its aunts and uncles in the months and years to come."

( _How does she always seem to know exactly the right thing to say?_ ) Cordelia looked at her friend in gratitude. "Thanks, I needed to hear that." Then she said hesitantly, "Uh, so how are you coping? I mean, with what's happened in your life lately?"

Tara's good mood seemed to vanish. "I love Willow, and she loves me. You of all people know that, I'm sure. But it...that just wasn't enough anymore, she...she simply wouldn't listen, Cordelia. That's why I had to end it between us. Willow promised me she could go a month without doing any magic. I said a week and we could talk about things then. And yet, less than two days later she performed that spell with Lethe's Bramble, and you and Xander..." Tara trailed off.

Cordelia snorted. "Yeah, well. Our love lives suck, no doubt about it."

Tara shrugged. "Have you talked to Xander at all ever since then?"

"No, not really," Cordelia replied. "He's not exactly a friend anymore, and with the way we ended up together that night...ugh."

Tara leaned forward. "If you don't mind my asking, can you tell me why **you** think it happened?"

Cordelia hesitated. "I don't know for sure, but maybe we felt something that was still present between us despite what happened during high school. So without any of the baggage to get in the way, maybe we just acted on our feelings."

"I see. But from what I've heard, you really hurt Xander back then," Miss Maclay said regretfully. "Both in what you did with Willow, and afterwards the lie that he had cheated on you instead. So you really think he still feels something for you, deep down?"

Cordy felt her cheeks flame red in embarrassment. "Yeah, well. Like I said, I don't know for sure. But I still keep coming back to the same damn question. Just how am I supposed to tell him about this?"

"I'd suggest doing it somewhere in private, and soon," Tara said with a minute shrug.

* * *

**Demon dimension**

**The same time**

The mercenary named Skip was having a conversation with his current employer, which at this point in time didn't have any distinct physical form. The most that the silver-colored armored demon could make out was a bright light, within which something with octopus-like tentacles was moving.

"Hey, look, I know the Harris kid pissed you off and you want to kill him as slowly and painfully as possible. But it's not that easy, you understand what I'm saying? That African heavyweight is going to crush me like a grapefruit the second he dies, and you can't pay me enough to commit suicide for you," the demon said passionately.

Skip listened to the fallen Power's nonverbal reply. "Fine, 'master', I'll try to figure something out. Like, as soon as you can distract his keeper long enough, I'll rip the kid's head off or something. But in the meantime, what do you want me to do about finding you some single white female to fool into going upstairs?"

Again the light replied and Skip looked stunned, "NOTHING? Uh, am I missing something here or what? Because with your previous candidate going completely off the rails..."

The mercenary shut up as the being that would have been called 'Jasmine' interrupted his monologue. Finally Skip replied, "You really want to wait that long for the tyke to grow up? And your choice of mom...well, all right, you're the boss. But hey, if this all eventually blows up in your face? Put me down for a big 'I told you so'!"

* * *

**Outside 1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale**

**Sunday January 20th, 2002**

**2:32 am**

A month had passed and Cordelia still hadn't told Xander he was going to be a father. It was somewhat selfish of her, perhaps, but she just could not seem to find the right time to spill the big news. Well, at least none of the other five people who knew had told him, having been sworn to secrecy.

Even Anya, who had an annoying tendency to blurt out whatever was she was thinking, had kept mum on the subject.

Not that Xander had interacted all that much with the former demon since arriving back in town. The young man knew who Anya was from Eshu's visions nearly three years ago, and most of what had happened with her in the original timeline. But for some reason, here and now, they just didn't seem to mesh the way they might have.

Although perhaps that wasn't too surprising. They were both different people now, with different life experiences. Anya had learned that, while she desired a boyfriend, she didn't need to cling to one to make herself feel complete. Xander had become far more cautious as well after two years on his own, and that disastrous liaison with his ex as soon as he'd come home.

Spike, however, was interested in none of this. All he cared about was getting rid of Xander as soon as possible. In the vampire's opinion, his entire un-life had become completely intolerable ever since that git had come back to the Hellmouth. And now, if William the Bloody was any judge of demon hunters, the ponce was seriously planning on staking him soon. While it pained Spike to admit his one-time dinner snack was actually a serious threat to him, the chip forced him to be a lot more realistic nowadays.

( _Can't just pay someone to kill 'im, if I wanna stick around here. That bloody tart of a pretender and the rest of 'em would come gunning for me the moment the word got out on the street. Bloody hell, Dru, I wish you were around. We could feast on his rotten, stinking carcass together,_ ) Spike thought broodily to himself.

Fool in love that he was, the British vampire was keeping watch on Joyce's house tonight as he knew that Buffy's birthday party, a.k.a. the annual January disaster, was being held there. He hadn't been invited to attend the festivities and his ability to enter the house had been revoked after the Slayer's mum had booted him out of her basement back then. Still, in his own bizarre way he was trying to be there for the woman who had somehow taken Drusilla's place in his heart.

All of a sudden the front door was yanked open and the party guests started to depart the premises. The vampire noticed that many of them had torn or damaged clothing and visible bruises, as if they'd been in some sort of fight. ( _Par for the course then,_ ) William thought to himself with a smile. ( _Sorry, luv, and too bad I missed it. But hafta say, have you ever considered not celebrating a birthday?_ )

The majority of the Scooby gang just staggered off to their cars, completely oblivious to his presence. Spike scowled when the droopy boy somehow seemed to sense him in the trees and came straight towards him like a bloodhound.

"Hello, Captain Peroxide. Having fun stalking Buffy at nights?" Xander said once he was close enough to the shadowy form of the vampire.

Again Spike scowled, wanting with all his heart to rip open a vein and bathe in this pillock's blood. ( _One day, one day._ ) "Just out for a walk, mate. It's a free country after all, innit?"

Xander just stared at him, and Spike didn't like that in the slightest. He also couldn't stand the fact that this sodding bloodbag wasn't afraid of him at all. "What? Wotcher lookin' at me like that for?" he finally said in his Cockney accent.

"I almost got killed by some demon calling himself Skip a few minutes ago and I was just wondering whether you were in on that. But I can see now that you weren't. Your impotent British bum never even had a clue what was going to happen here, did you?"

The annoying twerp was really trying his patience tonight, Spike thought to himself. "Too bad he missed, mate. Still, there's always next time."

Xander kept staring at the British undead. "I nearly got decapitated tonight, Spike, and it's made me realize just how short life – or even un-life – can be. That's why, even though I can hardly believe I'm saying this, I'm going to do you a favor."

"Yeah? What favor's that, then?" Spike sneered.

"I'm going to ask you a question. And I want you to be completely honest with yourself before you answer it. No posturing, no ego, just 'all we want is the facts, ma'am' territory. You think you can do that?"

William the Bloody didn't get it. "If I 'ad the inclination to. But what makes you think I'm even interested?"

"Because it's about Buffy."

Now **that** got Spike's attention. "All right, Harris, ask away."

"Fine. Now I know you love the Buffster, or whatever it is that passes for love with you evil undead types. But will she ever love you back? Can you see her at any point in the future returning your feelings, of her own free will? Keeping in mind how she feels about Angel and all."

Spike's blood almost started to boil, furious anger erupting on his face as he vamped out. "You buggering-"

"Can't do it, can you?" Xander interrupted, a hint of amusement on his face. "I knew it. Just the concept of Deadboy together with Buffy makes you unable to think straight, once upon a time I used to feel the same way. But come on, Spike, for once in your life, try to succeed at something by using your head instead of your heart or your dick. Will Buffy ever love you? THINK!"

The command was unmistakeable, and despite himself William the Bloody obeyed. He didn't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. Ever since Drusilla had made him in Victorian-era London he'd followed his blood, which often didn't rush in the direction of his brain. So he'd make a lot of mistakes, but if there was one thing you could say about William the Bloody it was that he was very adaptable to almost any situation.

So he thought. He thought about everything he'd seen since arriving in Sunnydale over four years previously. He thought about everything since he'd met Buffy, and then Angel, and then Angelus. He thought about everything since being chipped. He especially thought about when he'd woken up one day, horrified by the erotic dream he'd had of his nemesis. He remembered how he'd discovered Buffy's soldier boy wasn't the long haul guy for her, and just how he got rid of the wanker. Finally he concentrated on remembering the way the Slayer had behaved toward him since learning of his feelings...and had treated him with nothing but contempt.

Spike's face fell, and the moment it did so Xander nodded. "That's right, Spike. Now you're getting it. You're tolerated, but nothing more. In fact, I'm surprised Joyce hasn't gotten rid of you by now the same way she got rid of Angel. I guess it must be because she knows Buffy isn't planning to make you her cuddle monkey anytime soon. Or ever. So, the question you should be asking yourself isn't when will Slay-gal jump into your arms and profess her undying love for you, it's how long will it take before she finally gets completely pissed off at you and puts you out of your misery."

Xander turned around and strode off, not bothering to wait for an answer. Thus he missed the expression of rage and determination on the vampire's face, as well as the decision to finally **do** something about the bloody situation.

* * *

**Xander Harris's apartment, Sunnydale**

**Tuesday January 29th, 2002**

**5:34 pm**

Xander was feeling restless and bored. Ever since he had come back to the old home town, the feeling of alienation had been growing stronger and stronger, and he didn't know what to do about it anymore.

At least he wasn't hurting for money. In terms of gainful employment carpentry interested him vaguely, but Xander's true skills lay elsewhere these days. But therein lay the rub. If the only thing you're good at has a very high probability of getting you killed, it tends to make you wonder whether survival is a mission priority anymore.

Exhaling, Xander sat down and flicked on the idiot box. A million channels, and nothing worth watching. ( _God forbid but even 'Passions' is starting to look good to me nowadays._ )

Thoughts of that show brought Spike to mind as well. Amy had told him recently that the vampire had disappeared from his crypt and no one knew where he'd gone. Xander himself suspected that after their conversation outside Buffy's house the bleached wonder might have decided to go to Africa and get himself a soul. ( _Maybe he thinks that'll be enough to make Buffy love him. Hell, who knows; he might even be right. So if – when – Spike comes back, I'll need to keep an eye out for that._ )

A hesitant knock at the door brought Xander back to the real world and he got up to answer it. "Tara? Hi. Uh, what are you doing here?"

"I'd like to talk to you...about Cordelia."

Xander gestured for the blond woman to come in. "What about her?"

"Well, she's been...kind of upset lately. I was hoping to be able to get you to patch things up with her, so that you two can at least be friends again."

Xander smiled sadly at Tara's hopeful expression. "Might be kind of hard. I don't think Cordy and I were ever really friends, even when we were dating."

"Excuse me?" the Wiccan looked confused.

Xander sighed and began to tell her about the past, from his point of view. "We were always fighting, you know? Both me and Cordelia couldn't help it, it was what we did. It goes all the way back to kindergarten and the yellow crayon incident. Okay, after we got serious I tried to tone it down and be more supportive, and I suppose she did too in her own Cordelia-like way. And passion, sure, there was lots of that. Well, until Queen C decided it would be more fun playing tonsil hockey with Willow. But friendship? I don't think we ever truly had that."

"You still feel bitter about what Willow calls 'the fluke'," Tara observed unhappily, ignoring the tonsil hockey comment.

Xander opened his mouth to deny it, but nothing came out. "I suppose so," he finally admitted. "Every time I see that scar on my stomach, I'm reminded of what happened then. And what happened afterwards as well."

"Yeah, I-I've heard the stories. But that isn't the Cordelia I know." It had been nearly three years since the brunette had lost her money, her parents and her former social position. "While at times she can still be pretty tactless, she's not that spoiled and shallow person anymore." Tara tried as best she could to convince her companion of that.

Grudgingly, Xander was forced to admit Tara might be right. That night when they'd both been a blank slate for a while was pretty much proof of it. Then Harris had an epiphany and said, "Cordelia doesn't know you're here, does she?"

Miss Maclay was instantly uncomfortable. "No."

"Tara, I know you mean well, but let's face it. If Cordelia doesn't want to talk to me about this-"

"No, it's not that!" the witch interrupted. "It's just that she...well, uh, she's been a bit...ill lately."

"Yeah? What's wrong with her?"

Tara knew she was now sliding down a very slippery slope trying to maintain her friend's secret, and tried desperately to change the subject. "It's nothing serious. Look, Xander, maybe if you two were to see a counselor or something-"

"I don't need to see a counselor," Xander replied at once, eyes narrowing. "Besides, I'm thinking of leaving town again soon."

"WHAT? No, you can't!" Tara yelped on instinct, thinking Xander was going to leave the Hellmouth for good.

"And why not?" He saw the young woman desperately scrambling to find the right words to say. "Tara, ya know, it's pretty obvious by now that you're hiding something from me. So what is it?"

"It's, it's not my secret to tell," the Wiccan said feebly. "So please don't ask me to betray a confidence."

"Cordelia's confidence?" Xander inquired, going over the situation as he saw Tara grimace. "Well, what the hell could be so-"

At that moment, something in Xander's brain went **click**.

Tara wanting him and Cordelia to reconcile. Cordelia being ill lately. Tara afraid he would disappear out of Cordy's life. His ex-girlfriend, who he had recently slept with, had a big secret. Put it all together, and it suddenly spelled 'duh'.

Tara saw the suddenly-freaked expression on Xander's face and cringed in dismay. Instinctively knowing the jig was up the blonde pulled out her cell phone, called Willow and asked her to bring the brunette over to Xander's. In the meanwhile the man in question just collapsed onto the sofa.

"Xander? Xander?" Tara tried to talk to him, but he was obviously zoned out completely. Eventually Cordelia and Willow arrived and Tara let them in before dragging herself and the redhead out of there.

Miss Chase **really** wasn't looking forward to this. Even if she'd known it was inevitable on some level, the woman had kept putting it off, hoping that she would somehow be spared this unpleasant task. But now Tara had unintentionally opened that can of worms and there was no putting it off any longer. "Xander?"

Finally Harris seemed to come out of the Twilight Zone. "Cordy? When did you get here?"

( _About five minutes ago, you moron!_ ) "Are you okay?" she asked.

Xander shook his head like a dog, and then focused his laser-like gaze into her eyes. "Yeah, I...is it true? Are you p-p-p-puh, puh..." He couldn't bring himself to say the word.

Cordy swallowed. "Yeah, I'm pregnant. And it's yours."

He shook his head again but slowly, as if moving his cranium was suddenly very difficult. "So, you're sure? I mean, really sure?"

"What do you think, dorkhead?" Cordy snapped, the unfairness of the situation finally getting to her. "Or are you trying to imply that I'm the town bicycle?"

"No! I...holy shit," Xander kept shaking his head, not thinking about past mistakes now. "But, but we used a condom. Didn't we?"

"Yeah, but you know, they're not 100 percent reliable and it says so on the label. Or at least that's what the company's complaints department said when I bitched at them a while ago." She took a deep breath. "Look, Xander, I just want you to know I'm not expecting anything from you. I'll be fine, we both will-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Xander interrupted angrily. "Look, Cordy, when we were together in high school you knew what my family life was like. Believe it or not, you were the only one I ever opened up to about what sort of people my parents are. And I have no intention of repeating what my father did to me, with my son or my daughter. So like it or not, I'm involved, and I intend to stay that way for at least the next 18 years!"

The Chase woman definitely hadn't been expecting to hear that. Her emotions going into hyperdrive, she asked, "So what exactly are you saying?"

"Uh, basically, whatever our kid needs, he or she is going to get. Look, Cordelia, we both know there's a lot of stuff between us, most of it being in the badness column. I'm not saying all's forgiven and let's pretend everything since senior year never happened. But we're going to be parents, and I'm not my father. So give me a chance to prove to you that I can be an adult about this," Xander said intensely.

Cordelia knew it wasn't going to be that easy, given the fact that 'happily ever after' was just a cheap gimmick found only in fairy tales and the minds of the deeply stupid. But the young woman had to admit raising her child with Xander instead of without would make things a lot easier for her in the long run. And Cordy knew her ex well enough to tell when he was being honest. She took Xander's hand and placed it on her stomach. "Say hello to our baby...daddy."

Xander gulped, staring at her belly as the enormity of the situation hit him all over again. "Uh, hi." He looked at Cordelia. "So, um, what are you hoping for? A boy or a girl?"

"I don't mind either way," Cordelia said, feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything was somehow falling into place. She wasn't expecting any white picket fences and two cats in the yard in her future, but hopefully everything would work out somehow. "You?"

"A boy," Xander said without hesitation. "And if my vote counts for anything, I'd like to name him Jesse."

"And if it's a girl?" Cordy asked, reminded of Xander's brother in all but blood. The first of their number lost to the forces of darkness, so long ago.

"Jenny," Harris replied, again without hesitation. "I think Giles would appreciate that a lot."

Cordelia couldn't disagree.

* * *

**Main Street, Sunnydale**

**Tuesday April 30th, 2002**

**11:46 pm**

( _I can't believe I'm actually going to do this,_ ) Amy Madison thought to herself unhappily as she walked towards Xander's home.

A lot had changed ever since the night Xander had found out about Cordelia's pregnancy. For one thing, he'd insisted that she move in with him so he could help her with anything to do with the baby. The expectant mother cynically suspected Harris had asked because he didn't trust her not to have an 'accident' or whatever, and not because his feelings towards her had changed. Still, it made a certain amount of sense now that the morning sickness was growing worse, so she'd said yes.

Another thing that made a certain amount of sense to Amy was Buffy Summers recently bidding a not-so-fond farewell to the Hellmouth, and moving to Los Angeles.

Miss Madison hadn't been in town during the events in question as she, Faith and Giles had been in Gilroy to deal with a semi-insane priest who liked killing women. But she had heard afterwards that Andrew had accidentally summoned a Glarghk guhl kashma'nik demon one night, and the damned thing had sent Buffy into Fantasy Land after stabbing her with its stinger.

Someone with superhuman strength was required to deal with the bald and ugly creature in order to obtain the antidote. Spike was still missing in action, so Xander had called in an old marker from a few years ago when he had saved the life of Allen Francis Doyle. Angel had arrived to help Harris take care of business, and not long afterwards the entire Fang Gang, Doyle, Gunn, Wesley, Fred and Connor, had come to join him as well.

When Buffy had finally returned to reality and laid eyes on the cute four-month-old baby Connor, she had instantly fallen in love with him. The kid needed a mom, she still loved Captain Hair Gel, and the blond woman had no boyfriend in the picture. So Buffy had impulsively decided to transfer to UCLA and let Faith take over completely in Sunnydale. Joyce went ballistic when she'd heard the news, but her feelings had cut zero ice as far as Buffy was concerned. The Chosen One had told her mom she was packing her bags and moving into the Hyperion, and by the way please don't bother to call or write.

Amy mentally sighed as she let herself into Xander and Cordelia's apartment. It wasn't her job to try to fix that incredibly damaged mother-daughter relationship. It was her job to repay her debt to Eshu tonight. There was no point in trying to deny it; if it hadn't been for the trickster god and his colleagues, she'd have been a rat for all these years and Glory would have wreaked a lot more havoc with the world.

The young woman could hear Cordelia's light breathing and Xander's snoring from the separate bedrooms. The living arrangements didn't surprise Amy; she knew Harris hadn't forgotten that Cordelia played for both teams, and that meant keeping his distance from the girl who was now five months pregnant. Taking a deep breath, the witch raised her arms and murmured an ancient spell, sending the magic into both bedrooms. Grimacing, Miss Madison quickly turned around and left the apartment as silently as she'd entered it.

* * *

**Xander's bedroom**

**A few minutes later**

Xander woke up to hear the sound of screaming from Cordelia's bedroom.

He'd just had a bad dream, if in fact it had been a dream. With his luck, it had probably been the real deal. But anyway, Xander had found himself in the same dark place he'd ended up the night of Faith's sting operation when Angel had knocked him out on the street.

Eshu had been there as well, the African deity wearing his distinctive phallic headdress. "Hello, Harris," the masked creature had said simply.

"Eshu," Xander had replied carefully, looking around. "Been a long time. What's up?"

"Many things, but most importantly...you've become completely domesticated now."

The young man had instinctively bristled at the perceived insult. "What's **that** supposed to mean?"

Eshu had replied, "Well, you've started to bore me. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, you always did want to eventually settle down with a wife and 2.3 spawn. And it's just my bad luck that you impregnated your woman when you did. The most amusing thing you'll be probably be doing for the next few years is changing nappies every day."

"So this is goodbye?" Xander had asked, not bothering to conceal the satisfaction in his voice or correct the African god after it had called Cordelia 'his' woman.

"More like, I'll be seeing you. Because I know you, Harris. You attract trouble just like a magnet does iron filings, and no doubt your children will follow in your footsteps one day. I look forward to seeing it happen, and to all the amusement they'll provide me in the future."

Xander snapped out of his distracted state as Cordelia's screams continued to echo in the apartment and he rushed into her room. "Cordy? Cordelia, what's wrong? Is it the baby?"

The brunette woman was looking freaked, sitting on the edge of her bed with one hand instinctively curled over her stomach. "No, I...Xander? Is, is this real? Am I really here?"

"Huh? Of course you're here," Xander responded, instinctively trying to reassure her. "I'm here, you're here, it's all good." He suddenly thought he knew what had happened, and paled with worry. "Did you end up in some sorta fantasy land, like Buffy did recently? That demon juice didn't somehow infect you, did it?"

Miss Chase slowly shook her head. "No, I-I don't think so. I just...I had a nightmare, I guess."

"What happened?" Harris asked curiously.

Cordelia took a deep breath. "Um, well. I was...uh, I dunno **where** I was exactly, but I found myself alone with you. And you looked majorly different, especially with that hideous-looking patch over your left eye." Xander stiffened as she continued, "And what happened afterwards...oh God! I think I just want to forget it all as soon as possible."

"Tell me, please," Xander said gently.

The pregnant woman was in two minds about it, but eventually agreed. "Well, remember when you suggested that I not go to LA after high school was over? You, or at least the other you, he said he knew I'd been wondering lately how things would have turned out if I'd ignored your advice then. So he showed me what that life would have been like."

"I see," Xander tried to maintain a poker face, now suspecting that Cordelia hadn't had a nightmare at all. "And it was bad?"

Miss Chase saw no reason not to tell him everything. "Well, everything didn't work out as I'd planned, that was for sure. That guy who works for Angel, Doyle, he died a few months after I met him and Angel, and I inherited his visions. Basically, I became Angel's secretary instead of a movie star! And that son of a bitch Skip, he convinced me to become part-demon when the vision hangovers were about to kill me. And Angel's kid, Connor...I changed his diapers for God's sake, I was like his mom after Darla died. And then he came back as an adult after growing up in some sorta hell dimension for a few weeks? God, I never knew I had such an imagination..."

Xander knew this wasn't the case at all. "Anything else?"

"No, not really," she said with a shrug. "Why?"

Xander took a deep breath. "You were in love with Angel, weren't you?"

"WHAT?" Cordy yelled, getting up from the bed indignantly. "What the hell gave you that idea?"

Xander gently pulled her down again, and looked directly into her eyes. "You may as well get comfortable. This is going to be a **long** story, and there are parts of it I'm sure you're not going to like. Especially after what you just saw in that vision."

"Vision? Xander, that was just a dream. Wasn't it?" Cordelia was beginning to look freaked once more, as she again placed a hand on top of her swollen belly.

"I kind of doubt it. See, Cordelia, way back during our senior year of high school, I met someone by the name of Eshu..."

* * *

**Episcopalian parish church, Sunnydale**

**Saturday November 9th, 2002**

**5:59 pm**

Out of choice rather than necessity, the christening was being held after sunset.

Cordelia had finally delivered a girl, Jennifer Dawn Harris, after weeks of complaints about her hands and feet aching. She'd kept going to college until the end of the school year, but then deferred her studies till after the baby grew up a bit. As expected, the entire Scooby gang had pitched in to help her out as the big moment grew closer.

Willow and Tara had made up a few months ago, and were now definitely enjoying the love again. Miss Rosenberg had made a personal vow never to lapse back into her addiction, but that didn't mean all had been forgiven after the prior abuse. Willow had no idea how to make up for everything she'd done with that memory erasure spell. The fallout was always there and unable to be forgotten, Buffy's absence and Jenny's presence constantly serving as a reminder. Still, just like Faith, the redhead was trying hard and refused to give up.

Spike had shown up back in town a few weeks previously, almost completely insane from the soul he'd acquired. Giles had found him in Sunnydale High's basement, witnessing the vampire talking and babbling to himself. The librarian had taken William the Bloody upstairs, but upon hearing that Buffy had left town and was shacked up with Angel Spike had committed suicide by leaping out a window into the sunlight.

All that had been of little interest to Cordelia though. Thanks to several long conversations with Tara, Miss Chase had come to the point where she'd figured out that she'd wanted Xander to take her back and they could be a real family. She didn't care anymore about the story Harris had told her that night, regarding that nightmare world and her untimely death. If she had to, Cordelia was willing to do what she should have done back in 1998 and **beg** him to forgive her for past sins.

Amy Madison watched carefully as Xander and Cordelia presented their daughter to the officiating priest and Tara pledged herself to be the baby's godmother. She glanced around the parish hall: Buffy and Angel were present along with Connor, the ensouled vampire looking very uncomfortable while Buffy fussed with his son. Giles, Joyce, Faith, Willow, Jonathan, Andrew, Anya and Donna were also in attendance and bearing witness just as she was doing.

"No, no, this is all wrong it is. It's all different. Different...I can't abide how different it is!"

Everyone turned towards the front doors of the church at the sound of that female British voice, and beheld a strange sight. The vampiress named Drusilla was slowly coming forward holding a human, terrified-looking Harmony Kendall in her grasp. "Harmony!" Cordelia called out in shock.

"Cordy, help-!" the blonde ditz started to squeal, when Drusilla shut her up. "Now, now, good little girls must be quiet if they want their tea and cake later on."

"Let her go, Drusilla!" Angel stood up and glared at his childe. Buffy was at his side in an instant, handing off Connor to Giles as Joyce dragged Donna back. Jonathan and Andrew crowded around them, as Willow looked torn about what to do.

"You're not my Daddy. You're the Angel-beast, you are! Not Daddy. Not Daddy. Never Daddy," the female undead chanted out loud, her utter insanity obvious to everyone.

The priest looked as if he was going to step forward, but Tara held him in place whilst holding Jenny in her other arm. Faith got up in front of her and said, "You're playing some pretty deep odds coming in here like this, ya crazy bitch. Hostage or not, you really think you can take on two Slayers and walk away afterwards?" The Boston girl knew this particular vampire had been responsible for killing her predecessor Kendra, and was suddenly looking forward to staking Dru personally.

The English vampiress stared at Faith in confusion, holding Harmony firmly in place. "Why aren't you in jail where you belong?" Then her uncertainty cleared up, "Oh, that's right. My poor misguided kitten, he tried to 'elp you..." Drusilla turned to face Xander, whose face was like stone. "Hullo, kitten."

"Don't call me that," Xander spat out, the bad memories surfacing. "Now what do you want?"

"Manners!" Drusilla seemed insulted for a second. Then she squinted at him. "You've seen it too, haven't you kitten? How it would 'ave happened, that's why you've done what you did. Especially with my poor, lost, William." Drusilla suddenly scowled with an abrupt mood swing, "Naughty li'l kitty cat!"

Everyone apart from Amy and Cordelia glanced at Harris, who slowly started to smile. "If this is all about Spike, Drusilla, then let me tell you a few things. I'm not the one who made him fall in love with the enemy. I'm not the one who made him choose Slay-gal over you. I'm not the one who convinced him to go get a soul, and I'm definitely not the one who made him decide to end it all when he learned about Buffy and Angel. But you know what? All that couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."

Many people winced at his tactlessness, and Harmony yelped in pain as Drusilla furiously tightened her grip. "Bad kitten. Graaah!"

But Xander knew what he was doing. He slowly edged forward as Cordelia followed him, "I gotta say, Dru, it must really suck to be you right now. After all, both Darla and Spike are dust nowadays, and Angelus is caged up as well. All your family's gone one way or another, right? Think about it. Spending the rest of eternity alone without them. What's your take on that?"

"Seventeen years, kitten," Drusilla said dreamily, swaying slightly and making Harmony afraid that the unhinged creature was going to snap her neck at any moment. The vampiress had a vision of the future, "That woman who smells like jasmine, she'll take your little girl upstairs in 17 years and then it'll all be..." Dru trailed off, noticing the look of horror on Xander's face. "Oh! You'll be a granddaddy! And the Angel-beast's little boy will be the father, how wonderful!"

Everything seemed to happen very quickly after that.

Drusilla abruptly threw Harmony aside, the former high school cheerleader landing hard on one of the pews but otherwise unharmed. Roaring and vamping out Dru then leaped straight for Jenny, intending to rip her throat open.

Shoving Xander and Cordelia out of her way, Drusilla charged towards her target with supernatural speed. Backpedalling, Tara started to raise a hand to incant a protection spell, but it was too late. Drusilla's upper fangs had just barely pierced the baby's throat when Amy's eyes went completely white and she yelled out, "Immobilice!"

"NO!!!!" Cordelia screamed, starting to scramble up after Drusilla's eyes went wide as she froze into place.

Instinctively Tara yanked herself and Jenny away, the infant's neck bleeding slightly. At the same time Faith dashed forward with Slayer speed and plunged her stake into the vampire's unprotected back. Straight towards Dru's rotted, unbeating heart.

Dust exploded outwards, and the mad seer was no more.

"Jenny!! Is she okay? Is she all right?" Cordelia shrieked as she ran forward, Xander right behind her. And only Buffy noticed Angel staring sadly at the ashes that had once been his Drusilla.

Tara examined her goddaughter, "Yeah, I-I-I think so, sh-she only just managed to-"

But that was all the witch managed to get out before the brunette grabbed her three-month-old child and hugged her tight, tears streaming down Cordy's face out of delayed terror and gut-wrenching fear. "Oh thank God!"

Xander instinctively hugged both of his girls as well in a rather touching moment, after saying a heartfelt "Thanks" to Miss Madison and the brunette Slayer. Shocked and shaken by the events, still quivering with relief, the two parents instinctively clung to each other as their daughter started to cry.

Amy just looked at Xander, Cordelia and Jenny together as half the Scoobies crowded around them and the other half went to make sure Harmony was okay. The witch knew that from the looks of things, one day soon love might actually be born between the former cheerleader and her ex-boyfriend. It would probably get very complicated and chaotic, given Cordelia's bisexual nature, but then sometimes a little chaos could be a good thing.

The End


End file.
